​Destiny Moulder: Your role as a father includes shaping destinies and lives. This is perhaps one of the most important aspects of fathering, yet the least appreciated. You can father individuals, states and even nations. Nations fail when the fathers in the nation fail in their fathering responsibility. 
You must first understand that there are destinies that are tied to your destiny. If you fail to fulfil your destiny, those destinies attached to you may suffer delay or fail completely in fulfilling theirs. 
As a father, you must see fulfilling God’s divine purpose for your life as your primary pursuit. It is in identifying and pursuing your destiny that you can become a guider or moulder of other destinies. Many of those we call touts are products of unguided or misguided destinies. Where you are today is a result of being moulded by some people. Consciously investing and taking interest in your children and wards’ lives is necessary to help them find their purpose and fulfil it. 
Refiner: To refine means to purify or to make finer. You purify by removing impurities. Through the Word of God and a transparently pure character, you are to help your children become as pure as they can be. If you have the right connection with your children, when you mirror your life after the Word, your children will mirror their lives after you. 
You must therefore ensure you are as refined as possible before you can refine your children. Children are more inclined to follow your actions than your words. Yours character can either refine or pollute those around you. You are either a refiner for your children or a pollutant. Be a refiner and not a pollutant. 
Stay tuned for the next broadcast in this series. 
Have a great week ahead and stay blessed.  
 

Adewumi Oni

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​As a father, you are meant to raise fathers of homes, communities, businesses and even nations. You must get to a point where you see fathering beyond just child bearing, but the act of consciously building destinies. It is a great responsibility and one not to be lightly treated. 

6. One of your roles as a father is that of an Arbitrator, more like a judge, an incorruptible one who exercises justice with a sense of fairness, equity and true conscience. As an Arbitrator, you will settle dispute between your children and wards, you must not be seen to be partial. Your children are watching you and they know if you are fair or not. Your sense of fairness or unfairness will be transferred to them. Corrupt judges usually learn corruption from childhood. You will also settle dispute in your neighborhood and community. You must not allow material gains influence your decisions. The Great Arbitrator sits in heaven and He knows everything you do. 
7. As a guider, your actions and inactions have a way of influencing and guiding your children and people who are looking up to you. They will come to you for guidance. If you are not guided you cannot provide any guidance. So the question is who is guiding you? Many have left their guidance in the hands of pastors, prophets and spiritual leaders, some of whom have lost touch with heaven. When the blind leads the blind there will be calamity. Let God be your Guide and you will be able to guide others. 
8. Your greatest role as a father is that of a teacher. You must teach your children godly values upon which the foundation of their character will be laid. You must teach them how to deal with the vicissitudes of life. Teaching is one of the toughest tasks of a father because it requires matching your actions with your words, so you don’t just teach in words, you must match your actions with your teaching. 
When we play our roles well as fathers, we will have less problems in our world. 
Stay blessed and enjoy your day. 
Adewumi Oni

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“The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature.” –  Abbe Prevost

A father has to be a friend, teacher, role model, and a disciplinarian, all in one. You have to learn to wear different hats at different times. One of such hats is being your children’s best friend. One of the roles of fathers is to be the best friend of their children. 

Best Friend : Your best friend is someone you like and share your secrets with. It is someone you always want to spend your time with. As a father, your children should be looking forward to jumping into your arms after work. You shouldn’t be too busy to sit with them and tell them stories and help them out with their homework. Spending quality time with your children helps in forming a deep bond with them. It is at such times that children pick traits from their father that will be the bedrock of their character. Kindness, patience, gentleness, self discipline and other virtues are usually imbibed by children through close observation of their fathers. Vices are also learnt the same way. 

If you make friends with your children, they will mirror their lives after you. This is the reason you must be the best friend of your children, if you want to raise great sons and daughters. 
Defender : In the same vein, you are your children’s defender. They expect you to defend and protect them against internal and external threats or danger. They implicitly believe in your ability to fight for them. It is important that you don’t betray this trust, because it can lead to crack in the character of your children/ward. Be there for them when they are ill. Be there for them when they are being bullied. Just ensure you don’t let them down when they need you most. 

Stay tuned for the next broadcast. 

Adewumi Oni

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​Let us take a deeper look at the roles of Fathers in continuation of this series. We will look at the first three in this part and continue with the rest in subsequent part of this series.  
1. Role Model: Children are imitators. They look at how you sit, talk, walk and try to imitate you, even up to mannerisms, especially if they are fond of you. Your child will naturally want to be like you, it is therefore important that you conduct yourself well. For example, if you are walking on the road with your son and you are pressed to urinate. If you stop on the road to urinate, don’t be surprised if your son also starts urinating. He may not understand that it is not a good habit, because he has seen you doing it, he feels cool doing same. The rule is whatever you don’t want your child to do, don’t do it. 

2. Provider: As a father, you are the breadwinner for your home. You are the primary provider of resources for your home. Don’t shift your responsibility to your wife or anyone else, otherwise your sons may grow up believing it is not their responsibility to provide while your daughters may grow up struggling for leadership of the home with their husbands. Pray and work hard to provide for your home, sometimes you may need to deny yourself of certain comfort. Your children will notice your sacrifice and it will help instil selflessness in them. 

3. Decision Maker: One of the most important duties of the Father is decision making. You will have to take decisions from time to time, both major and minor decisions. The more your children see you taking correct decisions, the more they want to be in a position to make decisions too. How you take your decisions also matters. If you seek opinion of your wife or even the children before deciding, the children will likely grow up carrying others along in their decision making moments. This is important for their career. Most dictators grow up with parents who dish out orders without carrying others along. 
Fatherhood is responsibility. You can raise a great child through proper fathering, which requires discipline, love, firmness, wisdom and the Grace of God. 

May God help us to be great fathers and make our children to be greater than us. Amen. 
Till we meet again in the next series, stay blessed. 

Adewumi Oni

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​​In continuation of our discussion, it is important to define parenting and put it in proper perspective. Merriam Webster Dictionary defines Parenting as ‘the process of taking care of children until they are old enough to take care of themselves, the things that parents do to raise a child.’ It also means raising someone as a child.
Parenting therefore is not a job for the biological parents alone, you can father someone’s else’s child. It is equally important to point out that parenting can be done directly or indirectly. It is direct when you are primarily responsible for the upbringing of the child or ward, while it is indirect when the child or ward chooses you as his or her mentor and assigns the responsibility of fathering to you, or when without your knowledge, someone decides to model his or her life after you.
Going by the word of God, children can’t be left on their own, especially in the developmental stage. That is why Proverbs 22:6 says, ‘Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.’ Children are to be trained upward till they can make decisions on their own. What you impart into them at their developmental stage becomes their guiding principles all through life.
Now, let us look at the role of each parent in parenting, starting with the role of a father. Fathering is one of the most important jobs in the world and the most enriching. Nothing gives such joy as to watch your children becoming great and knowing that you played your part well. Just as God smiles in approval to a true son, we also smile with pride when our children make us proud. Fathering is very rewarding, not just materially but in terms of positive contributions to societal growth.
Many unfathered fathers are occupying places of authority in our nation today and it is one of the reasons for leadership failure. ‘Nemo dat quod non habet’ meaning you can’t give what you don’t have. Some fathers too were not properly fathered, so they find fathering difficult and challenging. Many have also become victims of negative indirect fathering due to the failure or absence of the direct father. Who is your child’s role model? You or someone else?
To be able to father rightly, you need to understand the roles of a father. Some of the roles are:

1. Role Model

2. Provider

3. Decision Maker

4. Best Friend

5. Defender

6. Arbitrator

7. Guider

8. Teacher

9. Destiny Moulder

10. Refiner
We will continue tomorrow by examining each of these roles in detail. Stay blessed and enjoy your day.

Adewumi Oni

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Raising your children or wards is by no means a mean job. It is almost a lifetime duty. It may be apt to say parenting is one of the most important works, yet one of the jobs least prepared for. People go to colleges and universities to acquire skills and trainings to excel in the work place or business world, yet pay the least attention to being trained as a parent. 
The state of our world today is the direct reflection of the quality of parenting provided yesterday. Pant sagging, body piercing, tattoo designs, smoking and other juvenile delinquencies (sadly they are no longer restricted to the teenagers) are often the results of poor parenting. 
I feel sad each time I see these young ones involved in these vices or when I see parents doing things children shouldn’t be caught doing in the presence of their children and wards. It is therefore not surprising that we are increasingly  having young adults who are always looking for shortcut, or will always cheat in exams,  or who will never stay on queue, or who can’t even manage their finances and are always borrowing no matter how much they earn. 
The objectives of this series are:

1. To emphasize the importance of good parenting in building a great nation 

2. To train the trainers (parents) on being a good role model for their children or wards. 

3.  To speak to the hearts of our youth and cause a rebirth where necessary. 
My hope is that at the end of this series, as a parent you will be able to predict with some degree of certainty who your children or wards will become, or make adjustments where you have been erring. 
I enjoin you to stay with me in this series. Thank you and have a great week ahead. 
​Adewumi Oni

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Happy New Year to you all. It is my prayer and hope that this year will be far better than all the years we have lived in every aspect of our lives. We will become better persons, achieve greater goals and impact more lives.

 
One of the things we must do this year to make the prayers above become reality is to combine actions with our prayers. Miracles are supernatural intervention of God in the natural affairs of men, and mostly happen when all natural options have failed. So don’t expect a miracle to become a better person without playing your own part. 
One area we have been holding a fallacy as the truth is in the saying that ‘your true friends will accept you as you are.’ We believe that anyone that criticize us is an enemy, and that those who truly love us should accept us just as we are, with all our faults and weaknesses. 
I am not sure anyone loves us more than God, yet He demands higher standard and expectations from us as w grow in Him. He expects us to become more and more mature everyday. The things we do and He overlooks when we first know Him, if we keep doing them as our relationship grows, He begins to scold us and point them out for correction. At some time, He might even just ignore us if we refuse to change. 
How then do you expect your best friend, whether it is your spouse, friend or parent to just ignore your weaknesses and not point them out for you to correct? Though correction must be done in love, if you keep doing the same thing, and your best friend leave you for not changing, it doesn’t make your best friend an enemy, it only means you are not willing to become a better person.
Iron sharpens iron, and if you are not ready to be sharpened by positive criticism from your friends this year, then you have no right to expect your life to be better this year. More than ever before, we are approaching the age in which only the proven and prepared can survive. You therefore need to be ready to take criticisms from your true friends and change. 
You also need to reduce the praise singers around you, they keep you from growing. 
Have a great day and remain blessed. 

 
​Adewumi Oni

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​As we round up this series, let us examine the type of plans we should have in place for the coming year. 

You should have plans along the following lines:

Spiritual 

Financial

Material 

Relationship 

Career/Business
The headings may not be limited to the above, this is just a guide. Now, along these lines, some of your plans may be short term, medium term or long term. 
Your Short Term plans may be weekly, for instance under Spiritual line, you may plan to have one vigil every week or fast once a week or read a book of the Bible every week. It could also be a monthly plan, like saving an amount every month towards a project or investment. 
Your medium term plans are those with time line of up to two to three years. For instance, you may have a plan to move to your own house in the next two years. This plan will definitely dovetail into your short term plan or monthly plan of saving and doing some parts of the project. 
Long term plans are those above three years. You may plan to become a professor in five years time, depending on your qualification now. It means you must build up short and medium term plans to achieve this goal. 
In summary, as the year ends, draw up your plans now and set measurements indices. Don’t set too much plans. Make your plans SMART. Simple, Measurable, Articulate, Realistic and Time bound. 
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance. 
We will be having a break on the broadcast and will resume on 9th January 2017 by His Grace. See you there! Shalom! 

Adewumi Oni

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​The first step you need to take before planning for next year is to review or take stock of the current year. Even if you didn’t plan at the beginning of the year, you still need to review your year. 

Finding sincere answers to the following questions will help you to review the year :
1. Where am I now? 

2. Where did I set out to be? 

3. What is the gap between where I planned to be and where I am? 

4. What are the factors responsible for the gap? 

5. How can I mitigate these factors in the coming year? 

If you answer these questions objectively, you would have laid a proper foundation for planning for next year. 
We will continue tomorrow by looking at how to plan and types of plan. 
Have a refreshing night and stay blessed. 
Adewumi Oni

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In another twelve days, the year 2016 will be over and we will begin another year. We will start greeting one another ‘Happy New Year’ and make ‘New Year Resolutions’, which are mostly lip-serviced and never realised. By February or March, most people would have forgotten their resolutions and plans. Before we know it, another December will roll in and the year is gone without any tangible achievement. 
A major reason for failure in life is poor planning or not planning or not working to plan. Many of us struggle with keeping to our plans in the course of the year and this limits our achievement during the year. It is not just enough to plan, it is important that you plan early, set measurable plans,  put timelines and evaluate your progress from time to time. 
It is for this reason I deem it necessary to have this series, and I am hoping it will be helpful for at least some. I therefore enjoin you to follow this series to the end. 
We will lay the proper groundwork in the next broadcast. 
Good morning and stay blessed. 
Adewumi Oni

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wumioni@yahoo.com

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