Parenting (5)

In the past three weeks, we have been discussing the roles of a father in parenting. Never has our society needed true and genuine fathers than now. Our nation is in dire need of role models, leaders who can lead the nation to greater heights, leaders who can guide our youths on the right path and leaders who can shape the destinies of our toddlers and teenagers.

Hence discussing about fathers for this long is not out of place. While mothers are caring and can easily provide emotional support, fathers are the ones who instil discipline in the children. Children tend to fear and obey fathers more than they do for mothers. Fathers are firm and tend to assert authority, which help to keep children in track.

When fathers leave this role to mothers, the children tend to go astray, stretching the capabilities of mothers. This is why most men raised by single mothers tend to either be too soft or too hard, depending on which of the extremes their mothers bent towards.

In the same vein, fathers carry a sense of justice and are able to judge rightly without being emotionally biased. Although this sense of justice can sometimes be influenced by financial inducements or sexual enticements from the opposite sex, which is where women are sometimes better.

In parenting, children always look up to fathers to judge fairly. When fathers fail in this role, children are likely to grow up with trust issues, and always looking for ways to buy justice. This is the more reason fathers must demonstrate equity, fairness and justice when dealing with their children. The impression we create in children can have either positive or negative impact on their character.

Fathers are also looked up to for protection. They are meant to provide protection against physical assault, emotional and psychological abuse, as well as security for the family. There is a sense of security that children have when their fathers are around. Absence of a father figure can sometimes cause insecurity in the children. Abusive fathers can also damage the psyche of the children and mother, setting into motion a cycle of bitterness and abuse.

We will continue on the subject next week. Enjoy your week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

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Parenting (4)

My sincere apologies for missing last week broadcast, I had a very busy schedule. We will continue on the sub-topic of ‘Who is a father?’

We have discussed the role of a father as the male parent, as a nurturer, as a role model, and as a guide. This week we will consider a father as an influencer and shaper of character.

As an influencer, fathers have huge influence on their children, especially male children. Most boys emulate their fathers in almost everything, dressing, walking, and even mannerisms.

The habits, actions and tendencies of the fathers tend to influence their children and may shape their lives unless strong peer influence either affirms or changes these behaviours. Children tend to know their parents better and are quick to point out contradictions between what parents teach and practice.

It is therefore important that what fathers teach aligns with their practice. There are many grown up adults who have become women abusers due to the influence of their fathers. Fathers who truly desire a better future for their children and the society at large will therefore be careful with their lives and the kind of image they project for their children to mirror.

Fathers also shape character in the same vein. Fathers’ influence on children shape their character and determine their destiny. For female children, they usually weigh their male friends on the scale of comparability with their father. They want every man to be more like their father, especially when the relationship with their father is close.

So fathers have a lot of work cut out for them especially in ensuring we pass the right values to our children through the way we live. We will continue our exploration on the role of fathers in parenting next week.

Till then, have a great week ahead.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

Parenting (3)

Who is a father?

A father is a male parent, and no woman can play this role successfully. This is the natural order, a woman can never be a father because she is female and lacks the inbuilt skills and gifts of a father.

This is one of the challenges of single parenting, the absence of the missing parent always affects the complete transformation of the child to an adult.

The only One who can play both the fatherly and motherly role is God, because in Him exists both male and female. In Him, all fullness dwells. Colossians 1:19.

As a nurturer, the father cares and protects the child and mother from any form of harm. Joseph as a nurturer was the one God instructed to take the child Jesus away from the reach of Herod the King. As a father, you are responsible for caring and protecting for all those under your care. This applies to male leaders in any position, in business, in government or ecclesiastical, you are to protect those under your watch.

As a role model, the child looks up to the father as an example of how he should live. It is thus important that you set good example. Do not curse around your children, do not throw dirts or garbage from your car, they will emulate you. Whatever they see you doing, they will try on their own. So how you live your life has a lot of impact on the child. Many men who abuse their wives actually grew up with abusive fathers, same with women.

As a guide, the father provides guidance both spiritual and moral for the child. Children at infancy stage are like plain paper, their characters are formed by the words, acts of discipline, instructions and training provided by the parents, especially the father.

Fathers help their children in making right choices in life, and this is a key role. A father who never had the proper guidance may find it difficult to guide correctly, but thank God we have the Holy Books and other books to guide us in parenting.

We will continue on the subject of a father next week.

Have a great week ahead.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

Parenting (2)

“Parenting or child rearing is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the intricacies of raising a child and not exclusively to the biological relationship.” (Wikipedia).

It is the process of nurturing and training a child from infancy to adulthood. It is a deliberate act of planting virtues and moral values in a child with the aim that the child would grow to be a complete person.

This process is very important because lack of it can lead to character deficiency in the child involved. Whether as biological parents or foster parents, someone who has been well fathered must play the role of a father and someone who has been properly mothered must play the role of a mother.

So who is a father? A father is the male parent, a nurturer, a role model, a guide, an influencer, a shaper of character , an instiller of discipline, a judge, a protector, a provider, and a leader.

Who is a mother? A mother is the female parent, a carer, a homekeeper, a discerner, a moral support, a warmth provider and an emotional support.

Every child needs both the fatherly and motherly figures. The absence of either can significantly affect the complete formation of character for the child.

We will continue in this series by looking at each of the qualities of a father and mother next week.

Have a great week ahead.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

Parenting (1)

Raising children is perhaps one of the most challenging tasks anywhere in the world. Regardless of race, colour, religion, financial status, raising children is such a huge responsibility and can be very rewarding.

The Bible admonishes parents to train up a child the way he should go so that when he grows up, he will not depart from the way. Proverbs 22:6. So there is a way for Parenting, and we shall be examining this way.

This series is aimed at helping parents (whether biological or otherwise) succeed in the task of Parenting. In terms of contents, we will look at the following among others:

I. Parenting

ii. Who qualifies as a Parent

iii. Parenting environment

iv. Single Parenting

v. Good parenting and measures

vi. Impact of Good Parenting on the child and the society

vii. Pitfalls to avoid

Hopefully this series will be the last for the year, so it might be a fairly long series before taking a break for the year. I will love to have feedbacks and comments or contributions either on my blog (www.adewumioni) or through any of my social media handles.

We are all jointly building a better world, no one knows it all, I therefore will appreciate your contributions.

Have a great week ahead.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

Power of Self Discipline – Conclusion

Leadership is responsibility. Leadership means taking responsibility for the successes and failures of the team. Accepting responsibility for failure requires a lot of discipline. It is very easy to push the blame to someone else down the line.

Self Discipline helps leaders to take right decisions, because they know the ultimate responsibility rests on their shoulders. Leaders without self discipline are not bothered whether their decisions or actions are right or wrong, knowing that if the result is not right, they can always find someone to hang the blame on.

This is why leaders in some parts of the world take their work so serious that after a mistake, they resign even before they are asked to do so.

Leaders who are disciplined also raise disciplined followers thereby strengthening their nations, states, organisations or communities. They lead by example and walk the talk. Their followers also two the same line and set in motion a chain of positive development.

This reflects in their management of resources whether corporate, communal or public. They demonstrate high sense of probity, integrity and accountability in management of resources and decision making.

You cannot be a good leader if you lack self discipline. Nemo dat quod non habet. You cannot give what you do not have.

It begins with you. So get your life in order before you raise others. A disciplined life leads to orderliness, progress and positive development. If you want to prove this, check what you achieve when you plan your spending and when you do not. You will find the difference between a disciplined life and a loose life.

Thanks for following through this series, but it will be more helpful if we practice what we have read.

Have a great week ahead.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

Power of Self Discipline – Importance

It is almost impossible to have a successful marriage without self discipline. Successful relationship thrives on self discipline.

In marriage, it takes discipline to keep playing one’s part regardless of convenience. It requires a lot of discipline to stay true to marital vow, when you are no longer in the mood under which you made the vow.

You will always meet someone better than your spouse, maybe prettier, richer or more intelligent. No matter who you marry, your loyalty will always be tested and there will always be reasons to let go of your spouse.

Marriage reveals the weaknesses in your spouse. You begin to see the real person behind the man or woman you married. You will sometimes question your decision in choosing your spouse, but self discipline will help you to overlook and stay committed at making your spouse a better person.

One of the main reasons for high rate of divorce today is lack of Self Discipline. Abusive husbands lack self discipline and cannot restrain themselves from assaulting their wives. A man who cannot exercise control over himself is like a city without fence, anyone and anything can enter.

Your mood or emotion should never control you, you must always learn to be in charge of your life. Tame your tongue, bridle your anger, put a leash on your body. The things that break homes are not big issues, they are usually small issues that accumulate over time. Learn to deal with every open wound before it becomes a big sore.

It is not everytime you say things as it comes to you, some things are only acceptable when presented nicely. It is called tact. Be disciplined enough to weigh and frame your words before utterance. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Proverbs 25:11 KJV.

Put your ego aside and apologise, and not only when you are at fault. Nothing thrives in a state of disharmony, so even if it means swallowing your pride to make peace, do so, the end will always justify you. Forgive and let go, not forgiving will harm you more.

Be a supportive wife. Do not shift all the burden on your husband when you can help. Be economically active as a wife, you must always have a source of income no matter how small. Invest in your home, do not spend all on unnecessary frivolities.

Resolve your issues between yourselves , as much as possible, avoid third party interference. Let God be your umpire and let His words be your guide.

Good morning and have a fruitful week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni