Case Study 6 – Religious Bias

David met Fatima on an official assignment in Jos. The two struck off immediately and had lunch together throughout his one week engagement in Jos. He works with a Consultant Firm while Fatima works with a legal firm, both based in Lagos.

They started seeing each other on their return to Lagos. Both of them knew they were going to face serious challenges should they decide to take their relationship further, being from different religion.

David is from a devout Anglican family while Fatima is from a staunch member of the NASFAT sect of Islam. However they are both madly in love and have vowed to weather the storm of parental acceptance together.

They have both agreed to teach their future children about both religion and allow them make their choices. They both respect each other’s religion.

Both parents upon knowledge of their relationship have refused to consent to their intention to marry. David’s father even threatened to disown him, while Fatima’s father warned her she will lose her portion of inheritance if she marries David.

They are determined to dare the odds but the pressure from friends, family and their religious circles is becoming unbearable. What should they do? Should religion hinder marriage relationship? Share your thoughts.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Advertisements

Manna Mentality Will Take You Nowhere!

I am amazed at Nigerians unwavering dedication to religious activities, whether programs or holidays and new months.

Text messages, WhatsApp, and other social media are always awash with greetings of all kinds, both in words and pictures when a new month begins or there is one religious celebration or the other.

We have become a nation of greeters. ‘Happy New Month’, ‘Happy This’, ‘Happy That’. We are unrepentantly committed to outdoing one another in sending these greetings.

Just imagine if we direct this passion towards innovation and entrepreneurship. Imagine setting monthly goals and tenaciously achieving those goals with the same passion we direct towards sending greetings.

Or even the same passion we direct at attending vigils, revivals, crusades, and other religious meetings, imagine directing that energy at starting and running a business. Imagine that half the number of religious centers are business enterprises, imagine the impact on GDP, job and wealth creation.

Tell me which nation has become developed through prayers and greetings alone? Tell me where any people have become great just by praying and fasting?

I am not in any way downplaying the role of religion in the nation, religion should help shape our characters and national values. We should not become so religious that we expect manna to fall from heaven through prayers. The days of falling-manna are over, we are in the days of doing exploits.

If you truly know your God, you should be strong and doing exploits. You should be a co-creator with God, a partner with God in producing. What are you producing? What have you invented? China rose to become a world power through inventions and not prayers?

Change that Manna mentality, it will take you nowhere.

This is my Easter greetings. Just as Christ rose on the third day, rise from that Manna mentality and start producing.

Reflect on these things!

Watch out for the ‘Next Generation‘ Seminar.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Life Nuggets

Never look down on someone because he is weak, your strength is a gift and not of your own making. We are made with different abilities. Be humble enough to admit this.

Be careful and do not boast about your success, life may have been given you a headstart ahead of others. Appreciate it and lend a helping hand to those behind you.

Do not go into marriage looking for happiness. If you are not happy on your own, you will be worse off in marriage because both of you might just be thoroughly disappointed.

The easiest way to remain poor is to spend all you earn or more than you earn. Keep your expenses within your means and invest a portion of your earnings no matter how little.

No one has solved any problem by fretting or being anxious. Sleep well at night. You need a clear mind and well rested body to think right and receive inspiration to solve that challenge.

As much as possible, touch lives in a positive way. Nothing counts much in life but the good deeds we do matter a lot, because you make God look real to people when you help.

Have a great week and remember to be an angel for someone this week.

Cheers!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 5 – Keep or Abort (Closing Discussion)

Last week, we have looked at the pros and cons of keeping or aborting Kike’s pregnancy and ended with recommendation that the pregnancy should be kept.

In closing, we are looking at the Support System for women with unwanted or unplanned pregnancy.

Support System includes the culture, societal behaviour or perception and regulations, policies and laws protecting women carrying such pregnancies.

Most societies frown at people carrying unwanted pregnancies and tend to ostracize them. This is a major contributory factor to high rate of abortion and the attendant health complications.

While not encouraging careless sex, it is a crime against humanity to maltreat or ostracise women carrying unwanted pregnancies. Some are pregnant as a result of rape, and they are already suffering emotional and psychological trauma, further ostracising them is nothing but cruelty.

More than ever, they need love, they need counsel, they need to be accepted like normal people.

There is also a need to strengthen our laws and policies to ensure that full wrath of the law is meted on rapists. In most cases, the rape victims get more humiliation than the rapist. This should be completely stopped.

NGOs and Orphanages should also be supported with policy instruments by the government to take up children from such unwanted pregnancies. There is need to create awareness through ‘No Abortion’ campaign to stem the tide of abortion and dumping of babies.

Every baby has a right to live once it is conceived, regardless of the situation surrounding the conception. Except when there is threat to the life of the carrier, pregnancy should be carried through.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 5 – Keep or Abort (Discussion)

Kike’s story resonates with several young girls and women who for one reason or the other have found themselves carrying a pregnancy that was never planned for or expected.

So in rounding up this discussion, we will try to look out both the victims and the support systems available in our society.

I got some interesting responses and mostly skewed towards aborting the pregnancy. Quite understandable because we usually prefer the path of least resistance or the path with less troubles.

Now let us logically look at the Pros and Cons of both.

Abort

Pros:

Kike saves herself from embarrassment.

Kike can continue to lead a ‘normal life.’

The unborn child would not have to fight identity battle.

Cons:

Kike can have health complications in the process.

Kike would have to deal with her conscience for life.

Another life has been truncated.

Keep

Pros:

Kike becomes a carrier of life and births a destiny

Saves herself from complications arising from abortion

Cons:

Kike can’t lead a normal life again

She has to deal with the financial issues of nursing the pregnancy and child

She might have to deal with the issue of stigmatisation. (You can add to this list)

Now leaving logic, it is important to note that the process of conception is spiritual, without belittling our knowledge of biology. Every child that is conceived is a divine gift and should be dealt with as such. If there was no purpose for the child, God wouldn’t have allowed the conception.

It doesn’t matter what the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy are, it remains a gift from God. You can however choose to accept it or reject it.

The same way we cringe when we watch someone being beaten to death, is the same way heaven cringes when we abort, especially when it is a premeditated one, and not a life threatening situation.

This is not an easy choice, I quite agree, but this is what I recommend for anyone out there with a similar case.

Now, one of the reasons people go for abortion is the support system available for unwanted pregnancy. We are a cold society, who delights in pointing fingers and ostracizing women in such situations. Next week, we will discuss the Support at length.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 5 – Keep or Abort?

Kike woke up early that fateful morning two months ago. She lives with her elder sister and her family. She had to prepare breakfast for her two nieces and get them ready for the school bus, before leaving for work. She finished all of these by 6:05am and left the house with the intention of walking to the Estate gate where she usually joins ‘Danfo’ bus to Victoria Island where she works.

She had only taken a few steps before she felt a tap on her shoulder and someone covering her nose with a piece of cloth with some strange smell. That was the last thing she recalled before waking up. She woke up in an uncompleted building and found her skirt and underwear ripped. She felt weak and felt something running down her legs as she made attempt to walk.

She tried looking for her bag and found it a few feet from her with the content littered on the floor. Her phone was gone. She tried shouting for help but her voice was barely audible. She managed to walk to the road and flagged down a vehicle driving towards the gate. The vehicle stopped and before she could walk down to the vehicle , she passed out again.

She woke up on the hospital bed about an hour later. The good Samaritan had left for work leaving a note and phone number. The nurse told her she has been raped and medications have been administered on her. She was discharged two days later after running some tests.

Two months later, Kike started feeling sick, nauseous and weak. She thought it was malaria and went to the hospital, but the doctor shocked her that she was 7 weeks pregnant. Her world came tumbling down. Why? How? What do I do now? These were the questions running through her mind.

When she told her sister and brother in-law later in the evening, they were both shocked and confused. They later advised her to abort the pregnancy, but her mum called that she should not abort the pregnancy. How do you keep a baby you don’t even know the father? Who will marry her with such a baggage?

She is confused. What should she do? Share your opinion.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 4 – Caught in Between (Discussion)

Moral from this case is that marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and requires a lot of wisdom and tact to manage all the parties involved.

Truly, marriage is between two people, but in reality it is between two families. As a man, you must accept your wife’s family if you want to enjoy your marriage. As a woman, your husband’s people become your people, you either accept it and enjoy your peace or fight it and live in frustration.

It is therefore very important to know the family you are marrying into, not just the man or woman you have fallen in love with. Your love will be strained if your spouse’s family is difficult.

Back to Emeka and Simi, first Emeka has to protect his wife from undue stress, especially considering her pregnancy. Emeka’s best option would be to have a heart to heart discussion with his mother. Since the mother has chosen to live with them, she must understand that Simi is the manager of the house. She can only offer advice in a gentle and loving manner and not issue instructions.

Emeka can also request his elder sisters to talk to their mother to take it easy on Simi. He might also need to talk to Simi to exercise more patient and be a bit more tolerant.

If all of these fail, then Emeka might have to secure accommodation for the mother and get an elderly care assistant to be with the mother, while he checks on her regularly. This however should be the last option.

It is good to avoid some troubles than managing it. For the unmarried ones, look before you leap. For those already married and are going through situations like this, God will give you grace and wisdom to manage it.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010