Case Study 4 – Caught In Between

He was lost in thought as he sat in the garden. As melodious as the combination of the chirping of the birds and the gentle breeze from the trees is, it did not help in any way to reduce the heavy weight on Emeka’s mind.

He has been sitting alone for over an hour. He left the living room in anger an hour ago, after his wife and mother exchanged harsh words. His marriage of five years appeared to be under threat with the latest episode between his wife, Simi and his mother.

Simi is a beautiful, quiet and reserved woman. He recalls what attracted him to her when he first saw her at the neighborhood shopping mall six years ago. She was on the queue to make payment and another lady tried to jump the queue. While others shouted down on the lady, Simi just waved it off and even pleaded that they allow the lady.

They courted for one year before getting married. Mama has always been the “Margaret Thatcher” of the family. She is a no nonsense woman and was very strict with her three children while growing up, Emeka being the last born and only son. His elder sisters are married and both abroad. She is very meticulous and even at 70 she still wants everything set and tidy.

Since Emeka’s father passed on four years ago, Mama has been complaining of loneliness and moved in to stay with his son’s family a year ago. Since then it has been one issue or the other. If it isn’t about the placement of the plates, it would be about the unswept compound. Even the maid has been tutored severally by Mama.

Simi has been managing it all but since she got pregnant four months ago, she has been very edgy. Coping with Charles, their first child, Mama and the pregnancy is becoming too much for her. She has been finding it difficult to cope with Mama and has been talking to Emeka to allow Mama return to her husband’s house.

Emeka can’t bear the thought of asking her aging mother to live alone, yet he loves his wife dearly. Emeka feels indebted to the mother, being her favorite. Moreover the children already decided to give the family house to a Management Company.

Emeka is confused. What should he do?

Share your thoughts and advice.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

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Case Study 3 – Parental Consent (Discussion)

Let me quickly say there are three checks or approvals needed in the area of choice of life partner.

1. Self Approval

2. God Approval

3. Parental Approval

Self-Approval: As a man, you have the primary responsibility of finding your wife. “He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour of the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22.

You should be able to answer the following questions:

Is this person my friend? There is nothing as good as marrying a friend

Are we mutually attracted to each other? This is important.

Do we share similar dreams and vision? Or our dreams are at cross purposes?

Do we share common faith?

God Approval: God is interested in your life and wants the best for you, so you should seek His approval about whoever you have found. God may show you your partner and He may not, depending on how you relate with him. It is however erroneous to wait on ‘Men of God’ to show you your partner. They can only guide you in your choice. How do you know God approves of your choice?

Inner peace will be present

There will be confirmations by others

Things will start falling into place

Parental Approval: This is very important and cannot be pushed aside. Parents have spiritual covering over their children and their blessings are very important. This is why we are asked to honour our parents, so that our days may be long. Exodus 20:12. If you honor them, life will honor you. You will live well and long. Honoring them even when it means breaking up a cherished relationship as in the case study will attract God’s blessing and give you a better replacement. Each time you obey God’s instruction even when it is not convenient, you will get His Blessings.

Your parents carry more weight and blessings than your spiritual parents. Anyone that encourages you to disobey your parents should be avoided, except where your parents are asking you to violate God’s instruction.

God cannot be put in a spot, He has several alternatives. You will not miss out if you obey Him. Even if you get disappointed by your choice, God can fix it, so don’t fret.

Have a great week. Cheers!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 3 – Parental Consent (Discussion)

This scenario resonates with a lot of people. There have been cases where Parents have clamped down on relationships with or without cogent reasons, and one wonders if parents have such rights.

In discussing this Case, we will provide answers to the following questions:

Do parents have the right to choose for their children or wards?

Should one heed the parents when they say ‘No’ to one’s choice?

Are spiritual parents more important than biological parents?

Where there is a conflict between Spiritual and Biological parents, who should one obey?

Is there just one man or woman destined for me to marry? If I miss that person, does it mean I can’t enjoy marital life?

Before we wrap up on this Case, we will discuss these questions and then close it. I strongly believe this topic (Parental Consent) requires in-depth discussion.

So let us start the discussion. Join this thread to share your views.

Thank you and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 3 – Parental Consent

Sandra sat down lost in thought under the Mahogany tree in front of her parent’s house. She has been at it for over two hours, until her Mum came checking on her.

Mother: Sandra, are you still bothered over our discussion?

Sandra: (sighs)

Mother: You know your father and I love you and we want the best for you. We will give our blessing to whoever you choose, but as a responsible parent we need to let you know our concerns and reservations.

Sandra: Mum, I know but it is not like this is an easy decision to take. Dave and I are deeply in love, and he has built his future around me. How do I tell him I don’t want to marry him? What reasons do I give? That my parents have some feelings he is not the right person?

Mummy: Why not pray over it dear?

Sandra: I can’t even think straight since you expressed your doubts after his visit. (Sighs again). God, why is this happening? Dave is a good man, he fears God. He is hardworking, caring,… How can he not be the right man?

Sandra is in dilemma over her parent’s concern over Dave. They have been dating for nine months before Sandra invited him to meet her parents. After dinner that night her father and mother called her and both said they like Dave, but something keep telling them he is not the right man.

What should Sandra do?

Share your thoughts.

Good morning and have a great week ahead!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 2 : Dilemma

Biodun took a facility of 1.5 million naira from XY Microfinance Bank to inject into his business. Biodun sells electronics at one of the busiest malls in Ikeja. He makes good turnover but has been unable to meet demands lately. Some corporate bodies have lately started requesting for wholesale supply and 30 days payment terms.

Barely two hours after Biodun got SMS alert for the loan disbursement, he got a call from his sister. She sounded frantic and alarmed. Biodun’s 65 year old mother slumped and has been rushed to the hospital. The doctor diagnosis is a dangerous heart condition that can lead to death within 72 hours if not operated.

Biodun rushed down to Ibadan to see her mother who is still in coma. The surgery would cost 1.5m. Biodun is the eldest of three and his siblings are still in school.

What should he do? Should he use the bank loan to finance the surgery? 

Share your thoughts.

Good morning and have a great week!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 1 – Broken Love (Discussion)

Good morning and Compliments of the season. Trust you had a great weekend. For some of us, we resumed to work last week, while for some we are just resuming today. There is also school resumption today in most places. Here is wishing everyone a pleasant and fulfilling 2018.

Back to our story on the Abioyes, I shared the story two weeks ago (you can visit my blog http://www.adewumioni.com, if you missed it).

Some questions were raised, and here are my views:

1. Where did the Abioyes get it wrong?Upward change in wealth usually tempts us to buy new cars, houses or some fancy vacations or clubs. We start spending less time with our family, which is where the Abioye’s got it wrong. Did they need a maturing girl alike Ebele as an househelp? Maybe, but she should have been enrolled in school also.

2. Should David have told his wife when he stumbled into Ebele scantily cladded?

Absolutely. She would have been able to scold Ebele and plant some fear in her.

3. What should they do?

I believe Ebele needs to leave but they both have to take responsibility for her upkeep before and after delivery. They need to inform her mother and probably secure accommodation for Ebele and her mother.

4. What are the learning points of the story?

Consider well before accepting juicy job offers, they come with a lot of baggage that damage homes.

Don’t be in a hurry to change your status when your wealth increases. 

Spend more time with your spouse.

Be man enough to tell your spouse or a reliable mentor, when you are having strange feelings for someone other than your spouse. They can help you get over it.

Thanks to those who contributed. I will share another case study next week.

Have a great week!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 1: Broken Love

David and Michelle can be described as lovebirds, they are always in each other’s company. David runs a private consulting firm and business has been so good in the last two years. Michelle on her part got a job in one of the new generation banks, after four years in an insurance company.

The change in fortune for the enviable couple meant change of accommodation. They took a mortgage loan and bought a house in a semi-upper class area in Lekki. It is a five room duplex and so there is extra room for one or two guests, a complete departure from their rented two bedroom apartment at Gbagada.

The problem with this new level is that Michelle spends less time at home returning home late at night and sometimes going on official engagement on weekends. This has left them with no choice than to get a helping hand. 

Ebele is a 19 year old girl who lost her dad while writing her WAEC. Her Uncles took over her father’s properties immediately her dad died from road accident. Her mother was thrown out and their once rosy life took a downturn. Ebele decided to get a job anyhow to save towards her University education and support her mum and two siblings.

Ebele got the job with the Abioyes and was grateful to God. She fell in love with the Abioyes two lovely children (David Junior and Sophia, 5yrs and 3yrs). David and Michelle also took an instant liking for Ebele, who speaks very good English and takes their children like her siblings.

After six months with the Abioyes, David returned back early one mid-afternoon to pick up a document he left at home. He parked outside and rushed in to the sitting room. The sight he met changed his life forever. It was Ebele asleep on the couch in bra and pant. Apparently she fell asleep after finishing housechore and wanted to enjoy the Air Conditioner in the sitting room before going to take her bath.

She was startled awake by the bang of the door as Uncle David ran in. As she stood to dash in the room, her bra fell off because she didn’t hold the strap at the back. She ran and left the bra on the floor of the living room. David struggled to run up the stairs to pick the documents and drove back to work. 

From then on, David’s mind kept replaying the entire scene. He couldn’t tell his wife. Ebele too started avoiding direct eye contact with him, but always caught Uncle David staring somehow at her.

A week after David returned back home around 11am and asked Ebele to prepare early lunch for him and bring it to the bedroom. Ebele woke up at 1pm in the arms of Uncle David after they have had sex. Thus began their steamy affair and was on for months until Ebele missed her period. 

Unfortunately David’s mother came visiting and was the first to observe the change in Ebele’s body. She drew the attention of Michelle to this and after deep interrogation, Ebele was taking for pregnancy test, and it turned out positive. Ebele confessed when Grandma threatened to beat the living day out of her and all hell broke loose. (End of story)

Questions

1. Where did the Abioyes get it wrong?

2. Should David have told his wife when he stumbled into Ebele scantily cladded?

3. What should they do?

4. What are the learning points of the story?

Have a great week!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010