Case Study 5 – Keep or Abort (Closing Discussion)

Last week, we have looked at the pros and cons of keeping or aborting Kike’s pregnancy and ended with recommendation that the pregnancy should be kept.

In closing, we are looking at the Support System for women with unwanted or unplanned pregnancy.

Support System includes the culture, societal behaviour or perception and regulations, policies and laws protecting women carrying such pregnancies.

Most societies frown at people carrying unwanted pregnancies and tend to ostracize them. This is a major contributory factor to high rate of abortion and the attendant health complications.

While not encouraging careless sex, it is a crime against humanity to maltreat or ostracise women carrying unwanted pregnancies. Some are pregnant as a result of rape, and they are already suffering emotional and psychological trauma, further ostracising them is nothing but cruelty.

More than ever, they need love, they need counsel, they need to be accepted like normal people.

There is also a need to strengthen our laws and policies to ensure that full wrath of the law is meted on rapists. In most cases, the rape victims get more humiliation than the rapist. This should be completely stopped.

NGOs and Orphanages should also be supported with policy instruments by the government to take up children from such unwanted pregnancies. There is need to create awareness through ‘No Abortion’ campaign to stem the tide of abortion and dumping of babies.

Every baby has a right to live once it is conceived, regardless of the situation surrounding the conception. Except when there is threat to the life of the carrier, pregnancy should be carried through.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

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It Pays You To Let Go

​Letting go of offenses, hurts and old wounds is actually to your own benefit. When you hold someone in your heart, there are a couple of things that happen:

1. Your heart is like the engine for your body. It is like the city center of your body that receives blood through the veins and releases blood through the arteries. Anything held in the heart apart from blood will clog your heart and may lead to heart disease. Unforgiveness leads to ill health eventually. 
2. Your heart is also the residence of the Spirit of God. When you have created a maximum security prison in your heart where you imprison people who have hurt you, what happens is that the Spirit of God is inconvenienced and will take His leave until your heart is empty. When the Spirit of God leaves you, you are cut off from heavenly wisdom which is the key to success and peace. You run with your own wisdom when you refuse to forgive and let go, and there is a limit to human wisdom. You can’t receive anything from God until you forgive those who have hurt you. 
3. When you squeeze your face and put pressure on your heart each time you remember the person who has hurt you, and you renew your vow not to forgive or forget, you are unknowingly suffering yourself, because the other party may be ignorant of your pains or may just not give it any serious thought. You are actually the one in prison, not the person who has offended you. Letting go is therefore, first for your own benefit. 
Many homes, businesses and even nations are in a sordid state because of unforgiveness. Somehow, the deep hurt of the Civil War that almost broke Nigeria apart is yet to be forgiven by both sides, and we are all still suffering from the consequences of this unforgiveness. Several ministries are not experiencing growth as they should because the setman is still holding grudges against some people. Several families are missing out on God’s best because they are yet to forgive those who have offended them. 
May God open our heart of understanding to let go and receive the fresh Grace awaiting us. 
God bless us all. 
Good morning! 
Adewumi Oni 

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Dealing With Bad Habits (6)

​Medical Remedies : Some habits require medical attention, they may have started out as harmless indulgences but ended up affecting the victim’s body and mind. Drug addicts usually start with small dose and assume they are in control of themselves. Gradually their body become dependent on the drugs and start demanding for bigger dose increasingly, until they become helpless. When it gets to the point of having lost every form of control over the body and mind, medical attention would be needed, usually combined with some therapies, including withdrawal therapy. It is detrimental to begin to apply only spiritual remedy at such stage. Medical treatment must first be administered,  and may be combined with psychological and spiritual remedies, if needed. 

Spiritual Remedies: Spiritual remedies are applicable in all cases but not necessarily as the main form of treatment, it may be as the supporting treatment. Where Spiritual treatment may be the principal treatment is in hereditary cases, because even if you treat psychological or medically, the patient may still revert into the habits because it is in the blood lineage, and it is transferable. The bloodline must therefore be cleansed spiritually through prayers, fasting and meditation on the Word of God. 
Some of these habits sometimes leave permanent damage, and the patient may just have to manage the consequence for the rest of his or her life. It is therefore important to quickly deal with any bad habits in our lives or those of our loved ones. We should avoid becoming ensnared with bad habits by watching the entry points into our life. Some of the entry points are:

1. Our Eyes: See no evil and hear no evil. Be careful with what you watch. Some movies can lure you into habits like masturbating, occultism, lesbianism, homosexualism, drinking, smoking, gambling, etc. Your eyes have strong influence on your mind and what your mind captures is hard to erase. 
2. Our Mouths: Don’t even taste it if you don’t want to be ensnared. Some strong cases of addiction to alcohol started with just a little sip. Same with cigarette, Marijuana, and other stuffs. Put a knife to your throat. Proverbs 23:2.
3. Our Nostrils: Don’t go near where you will perceive the smell of alcohol or cigarettes or hard drugs,  if you know you are hyper sensitive to the smell. Why play with fire? Many destinies have been ruined by these habits, so run from anything that smells like it. 
In conclusion, it is better not be addicted to any bad habit than to be managing the consequences later on, therefore do all you can to avoid indulging in bad habits. 
God bless us all. 
Good morning! 
Adewumi Oni 

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com 

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Dealing With Bad Habits (5)

The first major step in dealing with bad habits is to admit there is a problem. This is usually easy for unwilling victims as we explained in the first part of this series. For willing victims, there may be need for another person(s) to act on their behalf and save them from themselves. 
Admission of a problem makes identifying the problem easier. The next thing is to place the problem within the test of psychology, spiritual or medical. Is this a psychological problem or medical or spiritual? The best way to find out is to seek professional help. Usually professional psychologist will ask about the history of the patient to find out the root cause, before prescribing best form of treatment. 

Once a problem is identified, finding remedies becomes easy. Just as we have several factors behind those bad habits, the remedies can also be grouped into the following :

1. Psychological 

2. Medical

3. Spiritual  

Psychological Remedies: These involve seeking professional help. Unfortunately a lot of people are suffering in silence, especially in this side of the world, because they are not aware that there are specialists whose main job is to help people overcome or manage emotional, marital and even habitual problems. Some also feel ashamed telling others what they are going through, keeping to themselves and allowing frustration to build up in them till they reach the point of suicide or of transferring their aggression to others. This needs not happen at all. Just as we have medical conditions and we seek medical treatment, we should feel free to also seek psychological treatment. 


Psychologist or Sex Therapist can be of great help on issues like homosexualism, lesbianism, masturbating, even addiction to alcohol or cigarettes. It is not all cases that are spiritual. One of the reasons for prolonged addiction is seeking spiritual remedy for something that requires psychological therapy. 


The therapy may include change of environment, some form of confinement, especially if the source of the addiction is identified to be in the victim’s environment. Some may require being cut off from gadgets like TV, Internet, and hard core magazines. The necessary treatment can be identified and prescribed by a professional therapist. 


Does it mean prayers can’t help? Sure it can help,  but as a supporting therapy, especially when it has to do with the emotions or mental faculties. 


We will look at the remaining remedies tomorrow. Thank you for following thus far. 


God bless us all. 


Good morning! 


Adewumi Oni 

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com 

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Dealing With Bad Habits (4)

We concluded our discussion on the causes of bad habits yesterday. Today we will be looking at the implications of bad habits. 
Some of these are:
1. Addiction: One of the major implications of bad habits is chronic addition. Some habits are very hard to drop. Smoking, drinking, masturbating, watching porns, and gambling are some of these hard to drop habits. 
2. Further implication of addiction is an imbalanced social identity. The addicts find it difficult to live a normal life, their lives becomes disrupted by frequent indulgent in their habits. They sometimes prefer to be alone so as to have opportunity to enjoy their habits. When at work they hardly stay through one task, it is either their mind wanders off or their body goes in search of indulgence. 
3. Social and Mental disorientation: They can further become socially and mentally disoriented. Mental illness can set in. For users of hard drugs, in most cases, they end up with mental illnesses, if not treated. 
4. Security threat to the society: They can become serious and potent threats to the safety and security of the society. Many cases of rape, sexual abuse, assault and murder are as results of addiction to bad habits. 
5. Broken Homes and Parenting Crises: These also lead to domestic abuse, separations and divorces, which inevitably affects the upbringing of the children in such homes. In most cases, the children pick up the same habits in multiplied dimension. 
6. Broken Society: The aggregation of broken homes will eventually lead to broken society, break down of law and order and moral decadence. 
These are some of the reasons we should stop ignoring those who are under the influence of bad habits, because somehow it gets back to us. 
From tomorrow we will begin to look at the remedies. 
God bless us all. 
Good morning! 
Adewumi Oni 

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

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Dealing With Bad Habits (3)

​In continuation of the causes of bad habits, we shall be looking at the two remaining factors today, namely Spiritual and Hereditary. 
Spiritual Factors: How do you explain someone from a very wealthy family who shoplifts at every shopping outing? Or a young lady who lacks nothing but go to red-light zones every night to spend the night with different men and for free? Or someone who lies even when he has no reason to lie? Some habits are outright spiritual afflictions and no amount of medical or psychological therapy can deal with them. 
Hereditary factors : Similarly some habits are inherited. Some polygamists have polygamy in their bloodline and until the blood connection is severed, it will keep manifesting from one generation to the next. Abraham lied about his wife. Isaac did the same thing. When it manifested in Jacob’s life, it didn’t manifest in his marriage, it manifested in stealing his brother’s blessings. Just as we transfer good traits to our children, we can also transfer bad traits. 
Regardless of the cause of the bad habits, there are solutions and remedies. Finding the remedies require identifying the root causes, which is why we have been looking at the causes. Tomorrow we will proceed to look at the implications and remedies for these habits. 
God bless us all. 
Good morning!
Adewumi Oni 

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com 

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Dealing With Bad Habits (2)

​We started this series yesterday and began with description of bad habits and the different types of victims of bad habits. 
We will continue today by looking at the root causes of these habits. We can classify the causes into these groups :

1. Social factors

2. Psychological factors

3. Spiritual factors

4. Hereditary factors 
Social factors: Many young people are lured into bad habits by their peers in school, place of work, or in the neighbourhood. ‘Be not deceived, evil communications corrupt good manners.’ 1 Cor. 15:33. Habits like smoking, drinking, watching porns, masturbation, homosexualism and lesbianism are sometimes picked up through strong peer influence. I remember when I was still in my early 20s, there a man I used to look up to as a big brother in the neighbourhood. He used to smoke back then, and one day out of curiosity I requested for a stick and he obliged. Fortunately for me, my first puff remained my last puff because I didn’t like the giddy feeling I had after that first puff. That was sheer luck or providence on my side. I might have loved the feeling and might have become addicted. Beyond peer influence, youthful curiosity can drive youths into some of these habits, like my case. Same with drinking, same sex relationship and other habits. 
2. Psychological factors: These are causes that emanate from the emotional or mental faculties of the victims. Some people suffer from identity crisis,which is a state of conflict in the mind as to societal expectations or one’s role or one’s real identity. This is why some people say they feel like a woman within,  but they have the external features of a man. It is a manifestation of conflict of identity. Such people will find themselves gravitating towards same gender for relationship. Another shade under psychological factor is when someone is experiencing trauma maybe from a loss (of job, loved ones, money, material possession, position, etc). The person may lose emotional and mental control over him/her self and begin to indulge in some of these habits, like drinking, soliloquising, etc. Another shade is abuse-induced. Victims of abuse may suffer trauma and begin to indulge in some habits. Children who have suffered sexual abuse can later pick up strange sexual practices, if proper therapy is not applied. 
For easy digestion, we will continue with the remaining causes tomorrow. 
God bless us all. 
Good morning! 
Adewumi Oni 

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com 

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010