Parenting (5)

In the past three weeks, we have been discussing the roles of a father in parenting. Never has our society needed true and genuine fathers than now. Our nation is in dire need of role models, leaders who can lead the nation to greater heights, leaders who can guide our youths on the right path and leaders who can shape the destinies of our toddlers and teenagers.

Hence discussing about fathers for this long is not out of place. While mothers are caring and can easily provide emotional support, fathers are the ones who instil discipline in the children. Children tend to fear and obey fathers more than they do for mothers. Fathers are firm and tend to assert authority, which help to keep children in track.

When fathers leave this role to mothers, the children tend to go astray, stretching the capabilities of mothers. This is why most men raised by single mothers tend to either be too soft or too hard, depending on which of the extremes their mothers bent towards.

In the same vein, fathers carry a sense of justice and are able to judge rightly without being emotionally biased. Although this sense of justice can sometimes be influenced by financial inducements or sexual enticements from the opposite sex, which is where women are sometimes better.

In parenting, children always look up to fathers to judge fairly. When fathers fail in this role, children are likely to grow up with trust issues, and always looking for ways to buy justice. This is the more reason fathers must demonstrate equity, fairness and justice when dealing with their children. The impression we create in children can have either positive or negative impact on their character.

Fathers are also looked up to for protection. They are meant to provide protection against physical assault, emotional and psychological abuse, as well as security for the family. There is a sense of security that children have when their fathers are around. Absence of a father figure can sometimes cause insecurity in the children. Abusive fathers can also damage the psyche of the children and mother, setting into motion a cycle of bitterness and abuse.

We will continue on the subject next week. Enjoy your week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

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Parenting (4)

My sincere apologies for missing last week broadcast, I had a very busy schedule. We will continue on the sub-topic of ‘Who is a father?’

We have discussed the role of a father as the male parent, as a nurturer, as a role model, and as a guide. This week we will consider a father as an influencer and shaper of character.

As an influencer, fathers have huge influence on their children, especially male children. Most boys emulate their fathers in almost everything, dressing, walking, and even mannerisms.

The habits, actions and tendencies of the fathers tend to influence their children and may shape their lives unless strong peer influence either affirms or changes these behaviours. Children tend to know their parents better and are quick to point out contradictions between what parents teach and practice.

It is therefore important that what fathers teach aligns with their practice. There are many grown up adults who have become women abusers due to the influence of their fathers. Fathers who truly desire a better future for their children and the society at large will therefore be careful with their lives and the kind of image they project for their children to mirror.

Fathers also shape character in the same vein. Fathers’ influence on children shape their character and determine their destiny. For female children, they usually weigh their male friends on the scale of comparability with their father. They want every man to be more like their father, especially when the relationship with their father is close.

So fathers have a lot of work cut out for them especially in ensuring we pass the right values to our children through the way we live. We will continue our exploration on the role of fathers in parenting next week.

Till then, have a great week ahead.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni