Case Study 4 – Caught In Between

He was lost in thought as he sat in the garden. As melodious as the combination of the chirping of the birds and the gentle breeze from the trees is, it did not help in any way to reduce the heavy weight on Emeka’s mind.

He has been sitting alone for over an hour. He left the living room in anger an hour ago, after his wife and mother exchanged harsh words. His marriage of five years appeared to be under threat with the latest episode between his wife, Simi and his mother.

Simi is a beautiful, quiet and reserved woman. He recalls what attracted him to her when he first saw her at the neighborhood shopping mall six years ago. She was on the queue to make payment and another lady tried to jump the queue. While others shouted down on the lady, Simi just waved it off and even pleaded that they allow the lady.

They courted for one year before getting married. Mama has always been the “Margaret Thatcher” of the family. She is a no nonsense woman and was very strict with her three children while growing up, Emeka being the last born and only son. His elder sisters are married and both abroad. She is very meticulous and even at 70 she still wants everything set and tidy.

Since Emeka’s father passed on four years ago, Mama has been complaining of loneliness and moved in to stay with his son’s family a year ago. Since then it has been one issue or the other. If it isn’t about the placement of the plates, it would be about the unswept compound. Even the maid has been tutored severally by Mama.

Simi has been managing it all but since she got pregnant four months ago, she has been very edgy. Coping with Charles, their first child, Mama and the pregnancy is becoming too much for her. She has been finding it difficult to cope with Mama and has been talking to Emeka to allow Mama return to her husband’s house.

Emeka can’t bear the thought of asking her aging mother to live alone, yet he loves his wife dearly. Emeka feels indebted to the mother, being her favorite. Moreover the children already decided to give the family house to a Management Company.

Emeka is confused. What should he do?

Share your thoughts and advice.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni




Twitter: onadol2010


Case Study 3 – Parental Consent (Discussion)

Let me quickly say there are three checks or approvals needed in the area of choice of life partner.

1. Self Approval

2. God Approval

3. Parental Approval

Self-Approval: As a man, you have the primary responsibility of finding your wife. “He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour of the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22.

You should be able to answer the following questions:

Is this person my friend? There is nothing as good as marrying a friend

Are we mutually attracted to each other? This is important.

Do we share similar dreams and vision? Or our dreams are at cross purposes?

Do we share common faith?

God Approval: God is interested in your life and wants the best for you, so you should seek His approval about whoever you have found. God may show you your partner and He may not, depending on how you relate with him. It is however erroneous to wait on ‘Men of God’ to show you your partner. They can only guide you in your choice. How do you know God approves of your choice?

Inner peace will be present

There will be confirmations by others

Things will start falling into place

Parental Approval: This is very important and cannot be pushed aside. Parents have spiritual covering over their children and their blessings are very important. This is why we are asked to honour our parents, so that our days may be long. Exodus 20:12. If you honor them, life will honor you. You will live well and long. Honoring them even when it means breaking up a cherished relationship as in the case study will attract God’s blessing and give you a better replacement. Each time you obey God’s instruction even when it is not convenient, you will get His Blessings.

Your parents carry more weight and blessings than your spiritual parents. Anyone that encourages you to disobey your parents should be avoided, except where your parents are asking you to violate God’s instruction.

God cannot be put in a spot, He has several alternatives. You will not miss out if you obey Him. Even if you get disappointed by your choice, God can fix it, so don’t fret.

Have a great week. Cheers!

Adewumi Oni




Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 3 – Parental Consent (Discussion)

This scenario resonates with a lot of people. There have been cases where Parents have clamped down on relationships with or without cogent reasons, and one wonders if parents have such rights.

In discussing this Case, we will provide answers to the following questions:

Do parents have the right to choose for their children or wards?

Should one heed the parents when they say ‘No’ to one’s choice?

Are spiritual parents more important than biological parents?

Where there is a conflict between Spiritual and Biological parents, who should one obey?

Is there just one man or woman destined for me to marry? If I miss that person, does it mean I can’t enjoy marital life?

Before we wrap up on this Case, we will discuss these questions and then close it. I strongly believe this topic (Parental Consent) requires in-depth discussion.

So let us start the discussion. Join this thread to share your views.

Thank you and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni




Twitter: onadol2010