Case Study 1 – Broken Love (Discussion)

Good morning and Compliments of the season. Trust you had a great weekend. For some of us, we resumed to work last week, while for some we are just resuming today. There is also school resumption today in most places. Here is wishing everyone a pleasant and fulfilling 2018.

Back to our story on the Abioyes, I shared the story two weeks ago (you can visit my blog http://www.adewumioni.com, if you missed it).

Some questions were raised, and here are my views:

1. Where did the Abioyes get it wrong?Upward change in wealth usually tempts us to buy new cars, houses or some fancy vacations or clubs. We start spending less time with our family, which is where the Abioye’s got it wrong. Did they need a maturing girl alike Ebele as an househelp? Maybe, but she should have been enrolled in school also.

2. Should David have told his wife when he stumbled into Ebele scantily cladded?

Absolutely. She would have been able to scold Ebele and plant some fear in her.

3. What should they do?

I believe Ebele needs to leave but they both have to take responsibility for her upkeep before and after delivery. They need to inform her mother and probably secure accommodation for Ebele and her mother.

4. What are the learning points of the story?

Consider well before accepting juicy job offers, they come with a lot of baggage that damage homes.

Don’t be in a hurry to change your status when your wealth increases. 

Spend more time with your spouse.

Be man enough to tell your spouse or a reliable mentor, when you are having strange feelings for someone other than your spouse. They can help you get over it.

Thanks to those who contributed. I will share another case study next week.

Have a great week!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

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Twitter: onadol2010

Case Study 1: Broken Love

David and Michelle can be described as lovebirds, they are always in each other’s company. David runs a private consulting firm and business has been so good in the last two years. Michelle on her part got a job in one of the new generation banks, after four years in an insurance company.

The change in fortune for the enviable couple meant change of accommodation. They took a mortgage loan and bought a house in a semi-upper class area in Lekki. It is a five room duplex and so there is extra room for one or two guests, a complete departure from their rented two bedroom apartment at Gbagada.

The problem with this new level is that Michelle spends less time at home returning home late at night and sometimes going on official engagement on weekends. This has left them with no choice than to get a helping hand. 

Ebele is a 19 year old girl who lost her dad while writing her WAEC. Her Uncles took over her father’s properties immediately her dad died from road accident. Her mother was thrown out and their once rosy life took a downturn. Ebele decided to get a job anyhow to save towards her University education and support her mum and two siblings.

Ebele got the job with the Abioyes and was grateful to God. She fell in love with the Abioyes two lovely children (David Junior and Sophia, 5yrs and 3yrs). David and Michelle also took an instant liking for Ebele, who speaks very good English and takes their children like her siblings.

After six months with the Abioyes, David returned back early one mid-afternoon to pick up a document he left at home. He parked outside and rushed in to the sitting room. The sight he met changed his life forever. It was Ebele asleep on the couch in bra and pant. Apparently she fell asleep after finishing housechore and wanted to enjoy the Air Conditioner in the sitting room before going to take her bath.

She was startled awake by the bang of the door as Uncle David ran in. As she stood to dash in the room, her bra fell off because she didn’t hold the strap at the back. She ran and left the bra on the floor of the living room. David struggled to run up the stairs to pick the documents and drove back to work. 

From then on, David’s mind kept replaying the entire scene. He couldn’t tell his wife. Ebele too started avoiding direct eye contact with him, but always caught Uncle David staring somehow at her.

A week after David returned back home around 11am and asked Ebele to prepare early lunch for him and bring it to the bedroom. Ebele woke up at 1pm in the arms of Uncle David after they have had sex. Thus began their steamy affair and was on for months until Ebele missed her period. 

Unfortunately David’s mother came visiting and was the first to observe the change in Ebele’s body. She drew the attention of Michelle to this and after deep interrogation, Ebele was taking for pregnancy test, and it turned out positive. Ebele confessed when Grandma threatened to beat the living day out of her and all hell broke loose. (End of story)

Questions

1. Where did the Abioyes get it wrong?

2. Should David have told his wife when he stumbled into Ebele scantily cladded?

3. What should they do?

4. What are the learning points of the story?

Have a great week!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Glad to be Back

Season’s Greetings to all my friends and followers. Thank you all for allowing me take a long and much needed vacation from weekly broadcasts. I am grateful to you all for always allowing me to invade your private spaces with my broadcast. You give me reasons to keep this running.

It is so good to be back and in a new way. I don’t want to wait till January before resuming. Time, they say, waits for no one and time is precious. 

My approach will be different, but I hope to achieve better results, greater participations, increased knowledge sharing and more wisdom.

This new approach will be more of sharing stories (adapted), case studies and quotes, with the intention of  discussing, distilling and sharing morals from such stories, cases and quotes. I will share the stories every Monday and we will discuss it all week while finalising every Saturday, with a short piece on Sundays.

Join me in this interesting journey by following and contributing to the discussions. You can also share your stories with me, and your anonymity is assured.

Thank you and God bless .

Have a great week!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

​THE PRESIDENT WE VOTED FOR

There is no gainsaying that President Buhari assumed power with the best political capital in Nigeria’s history, both locally and internationally.  His popularity and confidence rating were such that stock prices automatically moved Northward and fuel queues suddenly disappeared within his first two months in office. Though this only lasted for a few months before Nigerians reversed back into its old mode and since then the political capital has been gradually eroded and one wonders what is left of it.
My thrust in this article is therefore to critically discuss the capital (moral, political and economic) that President Buhari brought into power in 2015 and what is left of that capital. 

Before he emerged winner of the presidential election in 2015, he had lost the same bid three times and had even decided to quit until he was ‘purportedly called out from retirement’. Perhaps it would have been better for him to stay retired. My reasons for saying this are not farfetched.

Sequel to his victory in 2015, most Nigerians were tired with the administration of former President Goodluck Jonathan for several reasons. For some, Goodluck Jonathan lacked the political will to fight corruption (which has been adjudged as Nigeria’s greatest enemy). For another, Goodluck Jonathan had ceded the running of the nation to some few elites, who took full advantage of this to the detriment of the nation, squandering and personalizing the nation’s resources. For some others too, Jonathan should never have been President in the first place, having usurped the opportunity offered him by the Constitution upon the death of former President Y’aradua. 

Not to talk of the First Lady’s high-handedness which made her become overbearing, perhaps with more power than the then President himself, breaching presidential protocols on many occasion and causing several embarrassments for Nigerians. 

So, for the majority it was ‘anything but Jonathan’ at the last Presidential election. This mentality was what paved way for old man ‘Buhari’, who many perceived as the exact opposite of Jonathan. Disciplined, firm, resolute in the fight against corruption, vast military experience, with a lot of moral and political capital at that time, having won so much votes across the entire country. 

Alas, times have proved even the staunchest supporters of Buhari wrong. President Buhari since assumption of office, has repeatedly disappointed his believers. Starting with the delay in formation of cabinet, the lack-luster team he formed and the unending strings of allegations of corruptions within his cabinet and government, which have been repeatedly swept under the carpet. 

Just to mention a few, Chief of Army Staff alleged possession of properties worth millions of dollars in Dubai, President Buhari’s certificate saga, suspended SGF’s sleazy grass-cutting deal, the embarrassing revelations about the Police IG and the latest being the allegations against NNPC GMD Maikanti Baru. 

To compound issues, President Buhari has openly shown disdain for some parts of the country through his remarks and appointments. Most of his appointments have been largely skewed towards the North while leaving out the South-East zone completely. Whoever thought President Buhari had metamorphosed into a Nationalist should have a rethink, the Buhari we wanted may have died during that tortuous three times trouncing at the Presidential Polls.

The kid-gloves manner of handling the Fulani herdsmen’s matter is another evidence that the Buhari we envisaged may have died. The Fulani herdsmen have wrecked and continued to do so much damage to people’s lives and properties and yet there is no firm law to checkmate this menace, not even to bring to book those who have marauded innocent villagers. They have become ‘unknown soldiers’ from neighboring countries, yet our military has been firm in dealing with Boko Haram and IPOB. 

Should we even mention his disinterest in the clamour for restructuring, which surprisingly was one of his party’s major campaign strong points? 

While statistics are not readily available to support this, I daresay never have Nigerians being utterly disappointed as they are under this administration, and this has been evidenced in the droves of young and even old professionals who continue to leave the country for better lives in other countries! 

How much of moral, political and economic capital does the President have left? I will leave the answers for the readers to make. However if the Presidency and his team think he has enough to make him the darling of many at the next Presidential poll, they should have a serious rethink. 

Truly, but not in the manner being peddled by some, the Buhari we wanted may have died during his three-time unsuccessful Presidential bids! Or maybe the real Buhari only exists in our imagination!
Adewumi Oni
Published in Independent Newspaper

Sunday 15th October 2017

The Man (4)

First my apologies for the break in this series last week, it was due to some pressing engagements.

I also wish my fellow countrymen and women a Happy Independence. At 57, Nigeria may not be where it is meant to be, but we have left where we used to be and our chances of getting to the desired destination depends on all of us. Yes it depends on You and I. It depends on how ready we are to become accountable.

Accountability is a major prerequisite for success or fulfiling destiny for everyone. Accountability, according to Business Dictionary is the “obligation of an individual or organization to account for its activities, accept responsibility for them, and to disclose the results in a transparent manner.” In other words, it is stewardship, it is accepting responsibility for one’s actions and consequences, as well as prompt disclosure.

This is perhaps the toughest call on a man, because it requires a lot of sense of submission, humility, self-discipline and integrity. Naturally, men like being in charge, being independent and not having to give account. This is however a sure recipe for disaster. This is the trap most leaders fall into, turning them into dictators and tyrants. 

As a man, you must hold yourself accountable to someone, it may be your mentor, father, religious leader or even God. You must be willing to let someone who is in a higher position put your actions under scrutiny. The moment we all start being accountable, our lives will become more cleaner and this will translate to a better society.

In the same vein, accepting responsibility is another tough call. Every man hates being found wanting, but there is no way that won’t happen from time to time. When it happens, rather than looking for who to blame, you should accept the blame and pick the lessons from the experience. We fall repeatedly when we fail to accept responsibility for our actions.

Be humble enough to share your experience. Sharing your failure experience doesn’t make you weak, it helps to reinforce your resolve not to make the same mistake again. It also helps others not to fall into the same error. Don’t bother yourself about what people will say, be more concerned about what impact your disclosure will have on humanity.

The whole essence of man is in being responsible. Stephen Covey said “Accountability breeds Response-ability”. You can’t be responsible without being accountable. 

At the heart of our problems as a nation is the absence of men of responsibility who are willing to be held accountable. Start being accountable in your own little world.

Have a great week!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

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The Man (3)

Last week, we looked at three key words from the definitions of the word ‘responsibility’,  and these are duty,  accountability and moral obligations. 

Let us examine each of these closely. 

Duty: The man has a duty to tend to his garden. His Garden includes his immediate family, his community, his nation, his job or business. As a man, you have the duty to provide for the needs of your family. These needs include financial, spiritual, moral, psychological, amongst others. Don’t raise children you cannot provide for. There are too many people lacking fatherly touch, and this directly reflects in their behaviors. 

As a matter of fact, many fathers are living off their children, leaving them to fend for themselves and sometimes expecting the children to even pay bills in the house. This is so irresponsible, and accounts for why many young people are after money by all means, engaging in ritual killings, drug peddling and other vices!
Train your children well. Provide fatherly support. Spend quality time with them. Don’t let your career or business pursuit steal your time with your children. The best investment you can give your children is to spend quality time moulding them. 

You must also ensure you take care of your environment. Some men mess up their environment and expect the government to come and fix their mess. You cannot be dumping refuse in the drainage and not expect flood to overrun your house during heavy rainfall. Take care of your immediate environ. If we all play our duty in keeping our environment clean, we will all have less environmental challenges. 

You must play your duty to the government and nation. Stop tearing down other tribes. The same blood runs in our veins, regardless of where you come from. Be a nation builder and not a nation destroyer. Find ways to contribute to the nation’s development. Speak well of your nation. Be a good ambassador of your country. You are either building or tearing down. Be a builder! 

Have a great week ahead and stay responsible. 

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

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The Man (2)

Beyond being the male gender of the homo sapiens specie, a man is a male who attained the age of accepting and taking on responsibilities. In most countries, the age 18 is assumed to be the age when a person ceases to be a minor. A minor can be excused for his or her actions.

If you have attained the age of 18, you have become a man and will be held liable for your actions, especially before the law. It is therefore important that you act consciously and always think of the implications of yours actions and inactions. 

 It is however unfortunate that a lot of people in the male gender who have crossed the age of minor still act like Minors. This is perhaps one of the reasons for the many ills in our society today. The scripture says ‘woe unto that city whose prince is a child’. A Yoruba adage also says ‘you can’t have elders in the market and have newborn baby’s head wrongly positioned.’

The role of a man in any society is largely that of responsibility. A man is someone who is responsible. Responsible for himself, responsible for others, responsible for his environment and even nature around him, all of which make up his Garden. 

Let us quickly look at the word ‘Responsibility’. An online definition says the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone. Or the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something. Or a moral obligation to behave correctly towards or in respect of. 

In all of these definitions there are three keywords we will examine closely. They are duty, accountable, and moral obligation. We will dwell largely on these words in the next series. 

Stay responsible and have a splendid week ahead. 
Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

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The Man (1)

Scientifically, a man is the male gender of the ‘homo sapiens’ specie in the ‘homo’ genus.  A man has distinct features from the female version of homo sapiens  (woman). He is stronger, more aggressive, wilder and inclined to use logical reasoning as opposed to woman who uses more of intuitive reasoning. 

According to the Bible, the man was created first and placed in the garden of Eden to tender it. To prevent loneliness and being overburdened, God made the man an helpmeet called the woman. The man upon creation was given a responsibility to dress and keep the Garden.

Essentially, man is a creature of responsibilities, and all men have one garden or the other to dress and keep. The garden could be your family, your community, your unit at your place of work, your state,  or province, or region or nation.

If you are a man, you are responsible to keep your own garden. It is therefore important to understand this critical role of keeping, maintaining and fostering the growth of the garden. 

It is equally important to understand that being a man is more than having a six pack figure, more than wearing fancy looking beards or hair, more than wearing the latest designer or driving the latest car, more than having strings of women under your control. Being a man is responsibility and that responsibility is enormous. 

In this series, we will look at who qualifies to be a man, the man as a Gardener, his garden and how he is to relate with his Creator and the woman. 

After this series, we will do same study on the woman, and at the end of it all, my hope is that we will all understand our roles better and become more responsible. 

Have a great week ahead. 

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010

Stop the Blame Game And Play Your Part (3)

One of the major roles we all need to play in restoring our great nation is to value and pursue Excellence. We have become a nation of mediocres. We do things half-heartedly, we work just to get by and not to be the best. Very few people have personal vision, they just flow with the tide of life. Giving our best is now seen as trying to show off, our society even celebrates mediocrity. 

Gone are those days of essay and quiz competitions. Gone are those days of scholarship for best students across all levels of education. We are comfortable celebrating the music artistes and entertainers. Nothing wrong with this in itself, but when we neglect education and give more priority to entertainment, we are literally setting ourselves up. No wonder Joint Admission and Matriculation Board (JAMB) lowered cut off marks to 120 and 100 for Universities and Polytechnics! 

It has become an imperative to take Excellence as the minimum standard in every facet of our society. You must teach your children to be at their best in whatever they do, and also have a reward system for their performance. 

In our work space, meritocracy should be placed above racial, tribal or religious sentiments. We cannot continue to build a nation on quota system, we will only keep producing mediocres. 

Our society should start frowning at shorttermism and condemn every form of indolence, brigandry and extortion. Our traditional rulers must start playing their roles as promoters of Excellence in their domain, and this must be both in their words, actions and intentions. Stop giving titles in exchange for money, give titles to men and women of exemplary character and accomplishments. 

Our religious bodies should stop playing to the gallery and stop the competition of putting up structures. They should concentrate more on building people. It is said that ‘the child you refuse to train will eventually sell the house you build.’ Building structures to house followers who have no internal and external structure is a waste of heaven’s resources. Little wonder the rate of crime and social malaise is on the rise as the number of religious centers are increasing. 

We need to start rebuilding again, and let Excellence be our watchword as we rebuild this great nation. God will not come down to solve our problems, He answers through people. Be one of His answers for the nation. 

Have a great week ahead. 
Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

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Stop the Blame Game And Play Your Part (2)

Last week, we looked at restoring our values as one of our roles in nation building. This week, we will look at another critical role that everyone who desires a better country must play. This is Role Modelling or Mentoring 

2. Role Modelling or Mentoring: One of the reasons why we have so much rot, moral decadence and social malaise, especially amongst our youth today is the absence of positive role models or mentors. Some twenty to thirty years back, most young people had the likes of Wole Soyinka, Chinua Achebe, Beko Ransome Kuti, and such other scholarly personalities. These were people who rose to the peak of their profession and brought pride to the nation. These people were both directly and indirectly shaping the lives of young people. 

As technology advanced and with the advent of mobile phones and unrestricted access to internet, our youths have been exposed to millions of personalities, especially in the entertainment world, and only a few of these personalities have truly enviable lives. But because we are daily inundated with news and videos of these stars, many youths want to be like them in their dressing, speech, and lifestyle. 

Coupled with the unhealthy display of material possessions by these stars, and the ‘seeming ease’ of acquiring wealth, many youngsters prefer to follow their lifestyle. Now, this in itself is not wrong, the problem is with the mindset, intent and manner of becoming a star. 

And this is where we all need to start playing positive role models. If you are a star, whether in the entertainment world or anywhere else, make conscious effort to let people know the price you paid to become who you are. Consciously find mentees and mentor them. Even if you are not a star yet, in your neighborhood, find someone to teach and guide. Most of our youths have no idea or clue as to where they are going, so they become easy tools in the hands of evil minded people. Identify a boy or girl and invest in his or her life, you may be nurturing another Nelson Mandela. 

However  you cannot give what you don’t have, “nemo dat quod non have,” so live what you preach to them and you will find out that you are changing lives. Don’t just fold your hands and expect those troublesome youngsters in your neighborhood to change, reach out to them. 

This is a collective duty and we all owe this nation the duty of positive role modelling for the young ones amongst us. 

Have a great week ahead. 

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

http://www.adewumioni.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adewumi.oni

Twitter: onadol2010