Another relationship you must give attention to after God and your family is relationship with destiny helpers.

Who are destiny helpers?
Destiny helpers are people who will help you to reach your full potential through teaching, mentoring, financing, leveraging, connections, counsel or prayers. These include your teachers, mentors, spiritual guides, supervisors, colleagues and even friends.

We often appreciate only those who are valuable to us,  while sometimes destiny helpers don’t appear like they have anything to offer you. You therefore need to be patient, humble and sensitive to people around you, in order to discern those who are destiny helpers. As a rule of thumb, don’t despise anyone. Everyone has something of value, if you are sensitive enough, you will gain something. Destiny helpers will give you advice that will take you from a negative position to a positive position. Sometimes it is just an hint on how to go about an assignment. Some other times they offer tangible help in form of money, materials or even gifts. Please do all you can to keep them.

There are different junctions in every body’s life, and your ability to take the right turn at each junction sometimes depends on the people (destiny helpers) in your life. Many have made wrong choices and decisions because they either lacked or disdained their destiny helpers. ‘Destiny itself is like a wonderful wide tapestry in which every thread is guided by an unspeakably tender hand, placed beside another thread and held and carried by a hundred others.’  –  Rainer Maria Rilke.

Develop, grow, nurture and strengthen your relationship with your destiny helpers. You cannot make it alone. You need people.

God bless us all.

Good morning!

As we take on the eight month of year, it is important for us all to be reminded that we are already approaching the middle of the second half of year, and before you know it, once September sets in, the year starts running out fast. The question is what have you done with the past seven months? Have you just been paying lip-service to your goals? What steps have you taken so far?

Are you really serious about making it? If you are, I expect that by now you should have some bruises from failed attempts. By now you should have some stories to tell and lessons to help you as you forge ahead. You should have one or two success stories too. Even if you have not recorded any success, you should have learnt some lessons. Generals are made on the battlefield not on the drawing board. Move your plans out of the drawing board today.

Understand this, just as the clock ticks away every second, so our lives tick away, so don’t think you all the time.
If you are serious about your dream, you will be willing to pay the price. You will be willing to burn the candles. You will be willing to keep vigils, reading and studying while others are sleeping. You will spend less time watching Soap Operas and devote more time to your dream. You will deny yourself of certain pleasures in order to cope with the pressure of your dream. You won’t give up when others do.

If you are truly serious about your dream, you will be willing to pay any price for it. So, are you really serious?

Happy New Month and God bless us all.

Good morning!

It may interest you to know that what you will become in life is not so much a function of what happens TO you, but more of what happens IN you. Nothing limits a man more than his mind. You are what you think. Regardless of your place of birth, background, qualification, skills, or talents, if you cannot see yourself making it with your inner mind, you cannot make it in reality.

You can rewrite your story by reprogramming your mind from expecting negativity, from expecting failure and defeat. Train your mind to always look at the positive side of life. Fill your mind with the promises of God. Meditate on His words. His thoughts are good and peaceful. Jer. 29:11. Stop thinking God is haunting and punishing you. His mercies are everlasting.

After capturing the vision in your mind, begin to take steps towards your vision. Don’t worry about the size of your steps, they may be little or shaky at the beginning, but they will grow to become bigger and confident. Don’t wait for every condition to be perfect. If you observe the wind before sowing, you will never sow.

Get out of the rut. You are not destined to fail. Even if you have failed, try again. Most successes come after many failed attempts. You have a choice to either succeed or fail. So choose success today.

God bless us all.

Good morning!

Nothing good comes easy. You cannot become great by mere wishful thinking. If you desire greatness, you must work and strive towards it. In the same vein, great societies or nations don’t just become great overnight. They invest time, resources, values and people to become and remain great.

Nations like the US, Canada, Britain, are places we all consider great because of the way they have structured their national lives. There are systems and institutions in place, and both are working. The African continent is unfortunately still very far behind. We lack systems and institutions, and where they exist, they are ridden with corruption.

One of the main reasons for the pitiable and dismal state of the African States is the neglect of our societal values, and this starts from the home. The home is the smallest unit of any society and a society is an amalgamation of homes, while a nation is made up of societies. If our homes are functioning well, then our society and nation will function well.

We have lost it at the home front. Today, instead of encouraging our children to be studious and work hard for anything they want to become, we pamper them and take them to special centres during examination. We complain when teachers flog our kids, as if cane kills. We indulge our children with iPads, iPhones, and ieverything, without imbuing in them the spirit of working and savings to achieve one’s goals.

How come the generation that trekked miles without sandals to school produced better leaders than the chaffeur-driven generation? How come our post independent leaders were mostly in their thirties when they assume leadership positions while our  ‘thirty year olds’ are still tied to their mother’s apron? Such a shame. Our youths now prefer near naked garments, while the youths of the sixties struggled to cover their nakedness.

Where do we go from here? How do we reverse the moral decadence that has permeated every part of our national and continental lives? What is the way forward?

First, we need to come up with National values that will form the foundation for the spirit and letters of our Constitutions. We lack common values that form the basis of relating and transacting. As religious as we claim to be, our words and actions are far from being godly, sometimes near demonic.

Two, homes must be reactivated. Most homes are in comma, or at best dysfunctional. As parents and guardians, we must begin to train our children well. Stop raising weak children, who eat and litter the streets with their sweet or biscuit wraps. Let your children know it is wrong to pee anywhere in the public. Cultivate in them the habit of working and saving during vacations, rather than ‘Disneylanding’. Disney land was made by the sweat of some people, let us produce our own.

Lastly, we must reawaken our enterprising and competitive spirits. The days of free money are gone. Oil money is vanishing. Communal spirit, inter-tribal or inter-ethnic competitions or contests need to be reintroduced. Literary and Debate Societies, where are thou?

It is time to wake up this slumbering giant. We have all it takes to excel and excel we must!

God bless us all.

Good morning!

We have looked at some reasons why marriages are failing, with specific focus on the singles and those engaged to be married. You can visit my blog for series 1-3.

Now, we will shift our focus to the married and what they should avoid to make their marriage last. I am trusting God that through these series, several homes will be restored.

1. One of the major reasons why marriages are failing today is the misconception about the purpose of marriage. Several people have misconception as to why God instituted marriage and so they are always blaming their spouses for not providing what they want. Marriage is principally for companionship and help. Gen. 2:18. God created Eve for Adam, so that he would not be alone and as an helper suitable for Adam.

It is surprising that some spouses still have confidants outside their marriage. Who else should be your confidant, if not your husband or wife? As a man, you should not have a better companion than your wife. Even your mother should not be a better companion. You have left your father and cleaved to your wife. She is now one with you.

Another major problem is that men assume that their wives are housekeepers. The truth is your home is your own Garden of Eden, and it is your primary responsibility as a man to keep and tend your garden. While your wife is to assist you in performing those duties, don’t expect her to carry all the burden of keeping your garden. If you do, she will be worn out, frustrated and won’t be able to give you the love and attention you need. Most women engage in business or paid employment to support their husbands, while they are still expected to keep the home. A good rule of thumb is to treat your wife the way you will treat yourself. Assist her in taking care of the children, laundry and even in the kitchen. It doesn’t make you less of a man.

Even if your wife is having challenge conceiving, it is not a reason to start maltreating her or to throw her out. You are to work together to overcome that challenge. The same applies the other way round. Don’t blame her for the delay. Encourage her. Pray for her. You are her King, don’t desert her. Don’t abuse her in any form, it is unmanly to beat a woman. As a wife, you are the Queen of your home, treat your husband like a King. Help him. Support him. Pray for him. Play your role well. Don’t assume leadership position in the home, you are his ‘helpmeet’ not his ‘equal’. It is most unwise to start competing with your husband.

Husband, love your wife and wife submit to your husband. Eph. 5:33.

Summary of today’s point:

– Understand the true purpose of marriage.
– It is first for companionship
– It is next for help.
– Understand your role in the marriage and play it well.

God bless us all.

Good morning!

Still addressing those who are yet to marry, today we will look at one more  reason.

A quick recap of yesterday’s Lesson.
– Don’t fall in love but slide into love
– Pay attention to your sense of reasoning
– Do not be in a hurry

Another major reason why Marriages fail is going into marriage with the notion that your partner is an angel or a perfect person. Note this, no man can be like an angel and even angels have their areas of strength. Asking Angel Gabriel to lead a battle is like putting a square peg in a round hole, he is more of a messenger. Likewise, everyone has his or her strengths and limitations. No one is perfect. So you must give room for mistakes, foibles, weaknesses and short comings in your spouse. Marriage shows you your real self and your real spouse. The partner in relationship and courtship is rarely the same in marriage. In marriage, you will see each other as you are. So, make up your mind to do these three things with your spouse:

1. Adjust: Adjust your idiosyncrasies to realities. Don’t judge your marriage based on the romance movies you see on TV. Get down from your horse. Gen. 24:64. You adjust in marriage.

2. Agree: Agree with each other on making your marriage work. Agree together that no matter what none of you will quit until death parts you. Agree together on how to manage your finances, duties, limits, boundaries for in-laws, choice of place or form of worship, school for your kids, etc. You agree before marriage.

3. Accommodate: Be ready to live with the weaknesses of your spouse and to make up for those weaknesses. You are meant to complement each other, so do just that. Don’t always be at his or her neck pointing out his or her weaknesses. Rather, accept the weakness and encourage your spouse to minimize or overcome the weakness. Don’t go about telling third party about your spouse’s weaknesses. You are pulling down your home by so doing. Prov. 14:1.

Summary of today’s lesson:
– Don’t expect perfection
– Adjust, Agree and Accommodate.

God bless us all.

Good morning!

We live in a time and age when relationships and marriages are breaking apart with unprecedented frequency. It seems to be worse among celebrities. Except for a few, celebrities around the globe are the worst hit with this worrisome trend and unfortunately millions of youths want to adopt their lifestyles. It will do the world a lot of good if celebrities start seeing marriage as a covenant not to be joked with or take lightly. Generally, we all need to understand the gravity of the world ‘marriage’.

This is why I am led to share this with us today and hopefully conclude it this week. This part of this series is directed at those who are yet to marry or find a partner.

1. One of the reasons why marriages are failing is because people ‘fall in love’ and leave their senses behind. Before we proceed, it is important that we look at the phrase ‘fall in love’. What does it mean?

To fall in love means to begin to have strong feelings and desire to be with someone, having romantic love for someone and it is a state of mind where the emotions take over the control of the mind rather than reason or logic.

This is why a professor can fall in love with an uneducated village girl. Natural reason is suspended for emotions when you fall in love. This is why a beautiful lady will keep going back to someone who keeps beating and abusing her.

Falling in love without listening to your sense of reasoning or logic is wrong. DON’T EVER ignore your intuition or nudging in your mind that things are too fast. As a matter of fact, I will advise strongly against falling in love, but gently slide into love. Sliding into love is a deliberate act of balancing your emotions and reasoning, paying attention to all the signs of danger, addressing those signs by asking questions, weighing your options if they are things you can live with, and either accepting or rejecting the suitor. Be guided by these two rules when love comes calling :

– Pay attention to your sense and voice of reasoning. The little signs you ignore before marriage will become major cracks in your marriage.
– Don’t be in a hurry. ‘He that believeth shall not make haste.’ – Isaiah 28:16b. It is better to age peacefully alone that to age painfully in marriage.

Summary of this point is to hold your head and take things easy. Give it time

Talk to you tomorrow.

God bless us all.

Good morning Africa!

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adewumioni.com

Mail me at adewumioni@gmail.com for questions and comments. Thank you.

It is said that the only constant change in life is ‘Change’ itself. Change keeps changing and is a constant factor, nothing else is constant, especially in our world. As we grow in life we experience a lot of changes, physical, emotional, physiological, spiritual and so on. We change over time.

Likewise, opinions, beliefs, traditions, cultures, practices and conditions change over time. It is therefore necessary that you subject your thought processes, response systems, biases, opinions and long held beliefs to emerging realities. It is a dangerous thing to be rigid and not to be responsive to realities.

One of the reasons why some people fail to make any reasonable progress is their inability to shift from their long held habits or positions. ‘This is how I have been doing my stuff and I can’t change it.’ Such positions will limit your growth in life and will make you live an unfulfilled life. You will miss out on new opportunities and breakthroughs. Break out of that mould.

‘Try to open up your mind a little, and move away from rigid opinions of what people should do and be – unless you have been there.’ – Ann Rule.

The only exception to this rule is when you have to do something spiritually, morally, mentally or physically wrong or harmful, then you can maintain your position. But when you are confronted with superior ways or ideas, wisdom requires that you bow to the superior. Don’t rot away in that position, accept change.

God bless us all.

Good morning Africa!

Lately, both print and social media have been deluged with news of death of young people, all over the world, but particularly more in our space here in Nigeria.

Most of the deaths are linked to heart and lifestyle related diseases like high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney failure, cancer and so on. While some of these are hereditary, a lot can be done to either prevent or even manage it if it is an hereditary case.

One of such is regular sleep. Please ensure you get minimum of six hours sleep on daily basis.

Also make sure you exercise at least three times a week and you may try to check on your physician for the proper exercise that fits your health profile.

Avoid fatty food, sugary food and lower your consumption of alcohol and caffeinated drinks.

Worry less and pray more. Don’t carry the world on your shoulder, you don’t have the capacity for that.

Carry out comprehensive medical check up periodically, at least once a year, especially once you attain the age of forty.

Avoid heavy late night meals. If you must eat at night, try vegetables or fruits. Eat balanced diet. Take a lot of water and fruits.

Finally, pay attention to your health. If you notice any strange development, see your doctor. Don’t overlook anything that has to do with your health.

Remember, you only live once, so live it right.

God bless us all.

Good morning Africa!

Still on the subject of unavoidable pains, I was challenged yesterday by two people (apparently not Africans), that the examples of circumcision and ear piercing are culture-imposed pains and not life-imposed, because in some part of the world, circumcision is not done for boys and ear piercing is also optional. My response was that, both examples may not be applicable in all climes but they are still examples of some of the unavoidable pains.

Another argument was on jackpot or lottery winners. My response was that ‘I do not consider jackpot or lottery as’ ‘gain’ in this context.’ How many jackpot winners have been able to maintain the sudden wealth? You can check this link for the discussion. https://disqus.com/home/discussion/channel-theatlanticdiscussions/unavoidable_pains_of_life/.

I am sharing this to encourage such discussions. No one has monopoly of ideas, so please feel free to share your thoughts on any of my broadcast.

Today we will look at one more pain tagged Pain of Maturity.

4. Pain of Maturity: Maturity is defined as the state, fact, or period of being mature. Cambridge English dictionary defines it as ‘the quality of behaving mentally and emotionally like an adult.’ My definition is ‘a state of readiness of the intellect and emotion, to accept responsibility.’ As you mature, life begins to place responsibilities on you, usually with consequences. It is important to accept responsibility if you desire to grow. Some responsibilities may be huge and demanding, but when  you succeed in meeting that responsibility, you would have become a better person than you were before. Maturity brings responsibilities. Responsibilities are often burdensome. For instance, as you age, a time will come when you have to fend for yourself  rather than relying on your parents or guardians. Rents, clothing, feeding, and even raising your own family are unavoidable. There are also certain positions (secular, political or religious) you take on either by election or appointment, that literally turn your life upside down. You struggle for a while until you reach a balance, after you have matured into the new role.

Perhaps you are experiencing the pain of Maturity now, be strong and hold it out. Hear this ‘Fire tests gold, suffering tests brave men.’ – Seneca.

God bless us all.

Good morning Africa!