Times and Seasons

Each season comes with its blessings and challenges. Rainy season is always welcome after a prolonged period of heat and dryness. For farmers, rain is a sign of blessing. It means planting can start. It also means plants can flourish and harvest is guaranteed.

However, when it rains too heavily, everybody begins to complain. The farm field becomes waterlogged and can even damage some plants. Roads become flooded and people get trapped, and in some cases suffering loss of properties and investments.

Dry Season can also be a welcome sight after a season of heavy rainfall. No more dirty water on the road. No more fear of stormy wind pulling away roofs and destroying properties. However, when the heat sets in, we then starts complaining. The dryness and scorching heat can become so unbearable that we soon start clamouring for the rain to return.

Isn’t this how life is? Cyclical and with ups and downs. With moments of joy and celebration, as well as moments of pain and sorrow. No matter who you are, you will have your own fair share. A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.

Life is full of times and seasons. None is permanent. The times will come and go. The seasons will arrive and pass.

Wisdom is knowing that the time of hardship will pass and fortune will turn again.

Wisdom is knowing how to plant in the rain so you can eat during the heat.

Wisdom is knowing not to take permanent decisions during a temporary season.

Wisdom is being strong enough to weather the storm while it lasts, because it always ends.

Stay strong, it is just a season.

Stay wise, there is no guarantee that it will always be sweet.

Stay humble, you do not know where you will be tomorrow.

#Next Generation Thinking 30062018, register now.

Adewumi Oni

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Vote Wisely

Permit me to talk a bit about politics today, especially in view of next year General Elections in Nigeria. In less than one year from now, we will be casting our votes to decide who represent us at the legislative chambers, our Governors and the President.

Too often in the past, we have voted based on ethnicity, religious sentiments, party affiliation and many other reasons. And all of these reasons do not seem to have helped us in making the right choices, as we get disappointed once the winner gets into office.

It will be foolhardy to vote again in 2019 based on ethnicity, color, religion or party affiliation. While there are no saints anywhere around us, we must still subject our choices to some minimum tests. Some of these are;

1. Sponsors: Who are the sponsors of the candidate? Most candidates will likely dance to the tune of their sponsors.

2. History: What history or precedent does the candidate come with? How experienced is the candidate?

3. Health: How agile, strong and healthy is the candidate? Ailing leaders often make wrong decisions, poor decisions or no decisions.

4. Party Affiliation: What party is the candidate affiliated to? What are the precedents of the party? A leopard cannot change its spots, the color of the Party will always reflect in the leader’s actions.

5. Understanding of Nigeria’s Complexity. Nigeria is a very complex country to manage and the candidates must demonstrate some abilities to manage complexities.

6. Multicultural Influence: how influential is the candidate across tribes , culture and religion?

7. Values: Does the candidate hold any value(s) dear to him or her? Do those values reflect the National values or values that can uplift a nation?

While the place of praying and asking for divine direction should also not be underplayed. We have long been on the journey to becoming a great nation, our choices have over time set us back. We cannot afford to toy with decisions like this any longer.

Get your PVC and vote wisely.

God bless Nigeria.

Adewumi Oni

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Case Study 6 – Religious Bias – (Discussion)

Good morning and trust you had a restful weekend. Sincere apologies for not broadcasting last week, but it helped to get a lot of views on the last case study.

Some opined that David and Fatima should not continue with the relationship because they are from different faith and not necessarily because the parents are not in consent. While some believe if they have the parents consent, they should go ahead.

Here is my view, marriage needs more than love to succeed. Marriage requires love, support from both families, sometimes harmonious religious affiliations, financial stability, stable health and maturity among other things to succeed.

Specifically on religion, there are cases of people from different faith marrying and enjoying their marriages, while there are same faith marriages that have hit the rock. So affinity of faith alone does not guarantee success in marriage.

I am aware that Christians often quote 2 Corinthians 6:14 to support argument against marrying anyone outside the faith. This text needs to be read in context of Apostle Paul discussion. I will also encourage you to read the write up by a brother below. He succinctly explained this.

Hmmmmm, matters of the heart are very delicate and sensitive and must be dealt with or attended to with some serious caution, and especially when they have religious colourations.

I will approach this topic rather systematically with the intent of bringing about a balance in the end.

As a Christian, and a minister of the Gospel of Christ, it would be easily thought that I will give a blanket “disagreement” to the young friends deciding to marry themselves and living their lives together, for better or for the worse.

My considerations will surely come from my understanding of the diversities of the religious influences from both backgrounds of the would be couple.
There are strong spiritual implications when “Marriage” is the case in point. This is not a business relationship or contract that has expiration dates or duration. It also involves an intertwining of the two to become “One flesh”, meaning that the bond in the union is beyond the physical realms, it is much more than the eyes can see.

Bearing the depth of this spiritual implication in mind, it is believed or expected that one of the two persons involved will or should be able to win the other over to sharing in his or her beliefs or faith. The reason here is, as a Kingdom (Family), you can not be divided and be expected to stand. Also, you cannot serve two Altars of worship, while you be declared to be bounded in love (Spirit, Soul and Body).
These concerns predominantly arouse all the sentiments from both ends of the divide, when young people from different religious sects seek to marry and live together for the rest of their lives.

One of the critical factors that also influences these situations is, the position of the Male gender in the relationship. The faith or religion of the male is mostly considered and the leading spirit or influence over the household, since the male is the priest over his household.
It is most and generally believed that the man’s Priesthood and spiritual influence will dominate his house, therefore setting the direction in which the home affairs are being run.
It is on this note that most parents insist that their children keep the faith that they were brought up under, believing that by this they have succeeded in raising a godly heritage.

Most Christians will often quote the Bible from 2Cor. 6:14, which says “Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers”, as a meaning, do not have anything to do with people who are not of the same faith as you.
This interpretation is so wrong because we fail to rightly appropriate the word “unequally”. We can “equally” be yoked with unbelievers, but not unequally. When we think about the era in which the Bible was written, which was in the agrarian age, most of its illustrations and explanations were done with agrarian terms. If you had to plow the ground for planting, you needed to yoke two Oxens of equal strength and capacity, in order to deliver the effectiveness of your plow. Should one Ox be stronger that the other, the yoke would break the weaker one’s neck and kill it.
In deploying this to our lives, it simply means that when we bond with people of a faith other than what we believe, we must be equally strong to ensure we are not pulled off our faith and belief in God and Christ.

Having said all these, I believe that the one thing that cannot be counterfeited or adulterated by any faith is LOVE. If Love be the reason why the two have decided to come together to express their God nature and mandate as co-creators with God and to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, then the God of Love, who is love Himself will reveal Himself to them and bring them to the place of fulfillment in purpose and destiny.

I have seen several cases of such inter faith marriages and God has showed Himself strong and Mighty on behalf of the couples involved, as much as the love professed was genuine.

We do also understand that when people profess “love” most of the time, it is simply a state of emotion, and a view point influenced by several objects or subjects about the time of connection or coming together of the two. Since Love is the same as Hate, both only varying in degree of viewpoint as stated by the law of polarity, it is lickly that two people who professed love for each other and swore never to let anyone or anything come between them, could turn around and endup as sworn enemies. What happened here would be a drift in their views towards each other, and the truth is, couples often come to realise that as the years go by, what drove them at the instance of their relationship is totally different from what sustains the relationship down the line.

My summation here then is, let everyone who finds themselves in situations as this, take some time and think through all the consequences, implications and the future of the home they seek to build. Bible says, “let he who seeks to build a house, first count the cost, and be sure that he will finish it, before he starts, lest he abandons the project after that he has started, then realises he has not enough capacity to complete it”.

I in my opinion then do not object to these faiths inter marrying, I however am concerned that Christ be the Lord of their lives in the end. So my prayer would be that they find Christ, the Rock of their salvation, if they never really did.

Let love rule and reign over all that we do, in Jesus Name. Amen.” – Kelvin Otung.

This position above summarises my view on this case study. I trust this helps someone out there. God bless.

Have a productive week.

Adewumi Oni

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Case Study 6 – Religious Bias

David met Fatima on an official assignment in Jos. The two struck off immediately and had lunch together throughout his one week engagement in Jos. He works with a Consultant Firm while Fatima works with a legal firm, both based in Lagos.

They started seeing each other on their return to Lagos. Both of them knew they were going to face serious challenges should they decide to take their relationship further, being from different religion.

David is from a devout Anglican family while Fatima is from a staunch member of the NASFAT sect of Islam. However they are both madly in love and have vowed to weather the storm of parental acceptance together.

They have both agreed to teach their future children about both religion and allow them make their choices. They both respect each other’s religion.

Both parents upon knowledge of their relationship have refused to consent to their intention to marry. David’s father even threatened to disown him, while Fatima’s father warned her she will lose her portion of inheritance if she marries David.

They are determined to dare the odds but the pressure from friends, family and their religious circles is becoming unbearable. What should they do? Should religion hinder marriage relationship? Share your thoughts.

Adewumi Oni

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Manna Mentality Will Take You Nowhere!

I am amazed at Nigerians unwavering dedication to religious activities, whether programs or holidays and new months.

Text messages, WhatsApp, and other social media are always awash with greetings of all kinds, both in words and pictures when a new month begins or there is one religious celebration or the other.

We have become a nation of greeters. ‘Happy New Month’, ‘Happy This’, ‘Happy That’. We are unrepentantly committed to outdoing one another in sending these greetings.

Just imagine if we direct this passion towards innovation and entrepreneurship. Imagine setting monthly goals and tenaciously achieving those goals with the same passion we direct towards sending greetings.

Or even the same passion we direct at attending vigils, revivals, crusades, and other religious meetings, imagine directing that energy at starting and running a business. Imagine that half the number of religious centers are business enterprises, imagine the impact on GDP, job and wealth creation.

Tell me which nation has become developed through prayers and greetings alone? Tell me where any people have become great just by praying and fasting?

I am not in any way downplaying the role of religion in the nation, religion should help shape our characters and national values. We should not become so religious that we expect manna to fall from heaven through prayers. The days of falling-manna are over, we are in the days of doing exploits.

If you truly know your God, you should be strong and doing exploits. You should be a co-creator with God, a partner with God in producing. What are you producing? What have you invented? China rose to become a world power through inventions and not prayers?

Change that Manna mentality, it will take you nowhere.

This is my Easter greetings. Just as Christ rose on the third day, rise from that Manna mentality and start producing.

Reflect on these things!

Watch out for the ‘Next Generation‘ Seminar.

Adewumi Oni

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Life Nuggets

Never look down on someone because he is weak, your strength is a gift and not of your own making. We are made with different abilities. Be humble enough to admit this.

Be careful and do not boast about your success, life may have been given you a headstart ahead of others. Appreciate it and lend a helping hand to those behind you.

Do not go into marriage looking for happiness. If you are not happy on your own, you will be worse off in marriage because both of you might just be thoroughly disappointed.

The easiest way to remain poor is to spend all you earn or more than you earn. Keep your expenses within your means and invest a portion of your earnings no matter how little.

No one has solved any problem by fretting or being anxious. Sleep well at night. You need a clear mind and well rested body to think right and receive inspiration to solve that challenge.

As much as possible, touch lives in a positive way. Nothing counts much in life but the good deeds we do matter a lot, because you make God look real to people when you help.

Have a great week and remember to be an angel for someone this week.

Cheers!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

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Case Study 5 – Keep or Abort (Closing Discussion)

Last week, we have looked at the pros and cons of keeping or aborting Kike’s pregnancy and ended with recommendation that the pregnancy should be kept.

In closing, we are looking at the Support System for women with unwanted or unplanned pregnancy.

Support System includes the culture, societal behaviour or perception and regulations, policies and laws protecting women carrying such pregnancies.

Most societies frown at people carrying unwanted pregnancies and tend to ostracize them. This is a major contributory factor to high rate of abortion and the attendant health complications.

While not encouraging careless sex, it is a crime against humanity to maltreat or ostracise women carrying unwanted pregnancies. Some are pregnant as a result of rape, and they are already suffering emotional and psychological trauma, further ostracising them is nothing but cruelty.

More than ever, they need love, they need counsel, they need to be accepted like normal people.

There is also a need to strengthen our laws and policies to ensure that full wrath of the law is meted on rapists. In most cases, the rape victims get more humiliation than the rapist. This should be completely stopped.

NGOs and Orphanages should also be supported with policy instruments by the government to take up children from such unwanted pregnancies. There is need to create awareness through ‘No Abortion’ campaign to stem the tide of abortion and dumping of babies.

Every baby has a right to live once it is conceived, regardless of the situation surrounding the conception. Except when there is threat to the life of the carrier, pregnancy should be carried through.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

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Case Study 5 – Keep or Abort (Discussion)

Kike’s story resonates with several young girls and women who for one reason or the other have found themselves carrying a pregnancy that was never planned for or expected.

So in rounding up this discussion, we will try to look out both the victims and the support systems available in our society.

I got some interesting responses and mostly skewed towards aborting the pregnancy. Quite understandable because we usually prefer the path of least resistance or the path with less troubles.

Now let us logically look at the Pros and Cons of both.

Abort

Pros:

Kike saves herself from embarrassment.

Kike can continue to lead a ‘normal life.’

The unborn child would not have to fight identity battle.

Cons:

Kike can have health complications in the process.

Kike would have to deal with her conscience for life.

Another life has been truncated.

Keep

Pros:

Kike becomes a carrier of life and births a destiny

Saves herself from complications arising from abortion

Cons:

Kike can’t lead a normal life again

She has to deal with the financial issues of nursing the pregnancy and child

She might have to deal with the issue of stigmatisation. (You can add to this list)

Now leaving logic, it is important to note that the process of conception is spiritual, without belittling our knowledge of biology. Every child that is conceived is a divine gift and should be dealt with as such. If there was no purpose for the child, God wouldn’t have allowed the conception.

It doesn’t matter what the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy are, it remains a gift from God. You can however choose to accept it or reject it.

The same way we cringe when we watch someone being beaten to death, is the same way heaven cringes when we abort, especially when it is a premeditated one, and not a life threatening situation.

This is not an easy choice, I quite agree, but this is what I recommend for anyone out there with a similar case.

Now, one of the reasons people go for abortion is the support system available for unwanted pregnancy. We are a cold society, who delights in pointing fingers and ostracizing women in such situations. Next week, we will discuss the Support at length.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

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Case Study 5 – Keep or Abort?

Kike woke up early that fateful morning two months ago. She lives with her elder sister and her family. She had to prepare breakfast for her two nieces and get them ready for the school bus, before leaving for work. She finished all of these by 6:05am and left the house with the intention of walking to the Estate gate where she usually joins ‘Danfo’ bus to Victoria Island where she works.

She had only taken a few steps before she felt a tap on her shoulder and someone covering her nose with a piece of cloth with some strange smell. That was the last thing she recalled before waking up. She woke up in an uncompleted building and found her skirt and underwear ripped. She felt weak and felt something running down her legs as she made attempt to walk.

She tried looking for her bag and found it a few feet from her with the content littered on the floor. Her phone was gone. She tried shouting for help but her voice was barely audible. She managed to walk to the road and flagged down a vehicle driving towards the gate. The vehicle stopped and before she could walk down to the vehicle , she passed out again.

She woke up on the hospital bed about an hour later. The good Samaritan had left for work leaving a note and phone number. The nurse told her she has been raped and medications have been administered on her. She was discharged two days later after running some tests.

Two months later, Kike started feeling sick, nauseous and weak. She thought it was malaria and went to the hospital, but the doctor shocked her that she was 7 weeks pregnant. Her world came tumbling down. Why? How? What do I do now? These were the questions running through her mind.

When she told her sister and brother in-law later in the evening, they were both shocked and confused. They later advised her to abort the pregnancy, but her mum called that she should not abort the pregnancy. How do you keep a baby you don’t even know the father? Who will marry her with such a baggage?

She is confused. What should she do? Share your opinion.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

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Case Study 4 – Caught in Between (Discussion)

Moral from this case is that marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and requires a lot of wisdom and tact to manage all the parties involved.

Truly, marriage is between two people, but in reality it is between two families. As a man, you must accept your wife’s family if you want to enjoy your marriage. As a woman, your husband’s people become your people, you either accept it and enjoy your peace or fight it and live in frustration.

It is therefore very important to know the family you are marrying into, not just the man or woman you have fallen in love with. Your love will be strained if your spouse’s family is difficult.

Back to Emeka and Simi, first Emeka has to protect his wife from undue stress, especially considering her pregnancy. Emeka’s best option would be to have a heart to heart discussion with his mother. Since the mother has chosen to live with them, she must understand that Simi is the manager of the house. She can only offer advice in a gentle and loving manner and not issue instructions.

Emeka can also request his elder sisters to talk to their mother to take it easy on Simi. He might also need to talk to Simi to exercise more patient and be a bit more tolerant.

If all of these fail, then Emeka might have to secure accommodation for the mother and get an elderly care assistant to be with the mother, while he checks on her regularly. This however should be the last option.

It is good to avoid some troubles than managing it. For the unmarried ones, look before you leap. For those already married and are going through situations like this, God will give you grace and wisdom to manage it.

Good morning and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

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