You are at your best when you are truly and fully yourself. The best form of self development is fully maximising your unique strengths. 

We live in times when people bury their real selves and try to live someone else’s live. Nothing wrong having role models, but not at the expense of forgetting who you are. 

Bruce Lee said, “Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”
You are who you are and you have your unique strengths. Inferiority complex comes from belittling your own uniqueness and envying another person’s uniqueness. Superiority complex comew from failing to acknowledge the strengths or uniqueness of others.

You may not have the strength the other person possesses, but you have your own strengths that he doesn’t have. Trying to be like the other man is the root cause of identity complexes. 

Find yourself, know yourself, discover yourself and develop yourself whiles also acknowledging others in their uniqueness.

 Being yourself is the best form of self development.
Adewumi Oni

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It is often said that ‘Life is not fair.’ We often console ourselves with this cliché, throwing up our hands in resignation and wishing that mother luck will somehow intervene and turn things around.

Truly we all need some elements of luck or good fortune to reach our goals, however such luck rarely comes when one adopts a passive position. Nature abhors passivity and this is evident all around us. When a tree refuses to bud, it is cut down. When a sea stop flowing, the creatures in it start dying and it starts stinking. 

Nature thrives when there is life, in the same vein, our lives are meant to be full of life. We should never allow challenges and vicissitudes of life push us to the point of becoming mere wishful thinkers. Don’t just dream, pursue your dream vigorously. Your dreams won’t happen by chance, you have got to make them happen with planning, preparation, prayer , persistence and proper positioning.

As you begin a new week, encourage yourself and pursue your goals with renewed vigor. When nobody encourages you, draw encouragement from the promises held in your dream. Go for it again. Don’t just wish it, work for it.

Happy Democracy Day!
Adewumi Oni

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People with the Esau’s Mentality have tendencies to judge people or things by their looks. They are easily swayed by material things and often fall victim to dupes, fraudsters, and cheats. 

Esau returned from a hard day’s hunting without any catch. He was very hungry and met Jacob cooking. He asked for some of the food, but Jacob placed a price on the food, the birthright of Esau. At that very moment, the birthright of Esau was equivalent to a plate of meal. He easily equated his birthright to one meal. 

How many times do we shortchange ourselves for some gratifications? Sometimes it is sex, money, material possessions, positions, etc. Ladies sleep with strangers for money, trading their destiny for money, forgetting that destiny can buy money, but money can’t buy destiny.

For momentary lack, guys engage in money rituals, armed robbery, drug peddling and other vices. Esau’s Mentality robs people of their destiny and makes people settle for ‘morsels’ when they could be the ones dishing out the food. 

It is one of the reasons people sell their votes for a loaf of bread, or for a tin of rice, or sometimes for money. 

It is the reason youths allowed themselves to be used as tools of destruction by politicians. If you value your birthright, you would ask that politician to send his own children on such errands. 

It is time we changed this mentality before it changes us irreparably. Make up your mind today not to be a victim again. 

Thank you and have a great week ahead.

Adewumi Oni

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​A major manifestation of the Esau’s Mentality is Short-termism. Short-termism means thinking only about the immediate gains and ignoring future losses or consequences of today’s action. It is a widespread phenomenon in our generation.

In career, it sometimes manifests in making monetary gains as the main focus of working. Such a person can commit fraud, accept bribe and risk losing his integrity, practicing license and even his life when called to face the consequence of his action. 

It robs people of the ability to weigh their actions on the scale of conscience and posterity. They only think of what that gain can do at that very moment. It is also the reason for changing jobs because the next job offers higher pay, even when it won’t help to build one’s career.

People who engage in short-term thinking always have themselves to blame in the long-run.

Another area of manifestation is in relationship. If you always focus on what a man possesses as your main yardstick for going into a relationship, you will miss out on the best. This applies to men who are always looking for made-women. Just as you cannot judge a book by its cover, you should not weigh people on material possessions alone. It is very dangerous. 

When Abraham asked Lot to make a choice of land, Lot chose by sight and picked the greener side, which later turned to be Sodom and Gomorrah. Look out for intrinsic values in the man or woman. Integrity, fear of God, respect for life, vision and strength of character should be among the values you should be concerned with. If it is all about money, you will fall for fraudsters or abusers. 

We will dwell more on this in the next series.

Happy Democracy Day.
Adewumi Oni

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The story of Esau and Jacob, the twin sons of Isaac is one of the most instructional stories in the Bible. Read Genesis 25:20-34. Esau was the first born of Isaac, having won the supremacy battle between himself and Jacob in their mother’s womb. This naturally bestowed the Birthright and first born blessing on him.

However, due to his mentality, he lost this most prized possession, that is, his Birthright. 

So what is the Esau’s mentality? Esau’s mentality is the mental state of mind that dwells largely on the benefits of the present with little or no concern for the consequences of today’s actions on the future. 

It is the mentality that is largely prevalent among the human race, especially the black race. It manifests as wastefulness, thoughtlessness, short-termism, greed, avarice, poor planning and low level of development.

This mentality is one of the major reasons why the black race is still seemingly behind other races. Lord Luggard aptly wrote about the African race in the Dual Mandate, ” His thoughts are concentrated on the events and feelings of the moment, and he suffers little from the apprehension for the future or grief from the past.” 

It is said that when a problem has been identified, you have solved half of the problem. This is why I have chosen this topic with the hope that this series will cause the readers to engage their minds and deal with the Esau’s Mentality that has bedeviled our existence.

I have been doing a lot of self reflection in the past weeks vis-à-vis the happenings in my country, and I have come to the conclusion that unless we start thinking fast and thinking futuristically, we might be heading towards extinction.

Stay with me as we explore in this series. Thank you and have a great week.

​Adewumi Oni

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In rounding up, you must be able to understand the perception of your suppliers, customers, competitors, government and the general public. If you don’t, you won’t last long in the market space.

Carry out survey to know what your suppliers think about your bid process, payment timeline and method. Are you always asking for deliveries under terms that are near impossible? Do you know you may be responsible for those inferior supplies? Check things out from the other side and your view will become broadened.

Feel the pulse of your customers through customer focus group discussion or other means. Your customers may not be pleased with the value they derive from your products or services, the value they appreciate might even be completely different from the value you place on priority. If you carry out a proper survey, you might be shocked at your findings.
Knowing how your competitors perceive you will help your business to be properly positioned in the market. Do you see yourself as a major force in the market? Is this how other players perceive you?
Government perspective is usually along the line of ensuring a healthy environment, fulfilling tax obligations and compliance with regulations. If you understand this perception, you will avoid a lot of trouble.
In summary, what you see may not be what others see, you can only make informed decisions if you consider the perceptions of the stakeholders in whatever you do. 

Thank you for following through in this series. Have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

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Let us go further in our discussion on the impact of perception on business relationships, specifically employees – employers relationship. Understanding the  perceptions of your employees is important for you to get the best out of them. 

What are your employees perceptions about the work environment, about the working hours, about the processes, about the hierarchy, etc? Answers to these questions can help you improve on their productivity and the bottom line. 

We often assume that a raise is all an employee needs to put in more, it may not be so, all the employee might require may be a flexible working hours or room to be more innovative. You can actually achieve more with the same level of remuneration, if you understand what truly motivates your employees.

It may just be about the management style. The problem in most work environment is that leaders manage subordinates and rarely lead. It was Dwight Eisenhower who said “You don’t lead by hitting people over the head…that’s assault, not leadership.” Grace Murray Hopper said ‘You manage things, you lead people.’

If you truly desire an improved employer-employee relationship, you must therefore invest in finding answers to these questions either by yourself or through a consultant.

Happy Workers Day!

Adewumi Oni

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Let us examine how perception affects business relationships, however before we proceed, let us remind ourselves of this maxim, ‘understanding the how and why people think the way they think,  is key to having the right or broad perception’. 
If you don’t have the right perception, you will always make wrong decisions because you would have failed to consider certain important positions. This is most evident in business and business relationships. 
First, in business relationships, if you don’t understand the key stakeholders, you may not succeed. Some of these stakeholders are :
1. Investors or Shareholders 

2. Employees

3. Suppliers

4. Customers 

5. Competitors 

6. Regulatory or Government agencies

7. General Public
Investors or Shareholders: Most investors are interested in returns on their investment, so the key performance indicator for them is ROI (Return on Investment). For them, everything you do must result to profit, hence you must identify activities or divisions or products that drive up your profit and pay more attention to them. 
Sometimes investors want to discontinue a line of operation because they feel it is not profitable or has become a cost center, while you may have some biases for that line. It will do you well to let go of personal biases and be objective in decision making, unless their is a perspective you see that they haven’t seen. 
At other times, investors are so pleased with an existing line or product that they fail to pay attention to emerging threats in the market. At such times, you are in a vantage position because you relate with all the stakeholders and you can point out why you should start thinking of innovation either by new product development or diversification. Remember how Xerox became history when they failed to pay attention to the emergence of Personal Computer, they even ignored their own personal computer called PARC, which came before IBM or Apple! Learn from this example. (To be continued). 
Have a great week ahead and look out for shifts in your long held belief. 
Cheers! 
Adewumi Oni

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One of the areas where perception has great influence is in relationships. Many have suffered undeserved criticisms because they were misunderstood or their intentions were read wrongly. Many ‘would-have-been great partnerships’ have hit the rocks because of mistrust. 
Let us look at how Perception can help in a few relationships, the first being marriage relationship. 
Marriage is the union of two different people coming from different backgrounds, with different views about life and different tastes. This is one of the reasons why couples disagree over both petty and important matters. Having the right perception on how your spouse feels about an issue and why your spouse feels so, will help you to gauge your reaction correctly. Knowing the why and how is key to having right perception. 

Right perception comes by exchanging lens or placing yourself in the position of your spouse and asking how you would act if you were in your spouse’s position. You must be able to understand the point of view of your partner or spouse before taking any position. When both partners are willing to do this, lives will become easier for both. 
For instance, if your wife is from a wealthy background and you struggled to get to where you are, her taste and wants may come across to you as expensive and you may start seeing her as a demanding woman. It will be wrong to come to such conclusions. Her perception is based on the way she grew up, yours is based on how you grew up, both of you have to reach a middle ground on most matters. 
A man that was raised by a single parent will likely take decisions alone. If you marry such a man, you must be prepared to patiently work on him to start carrying you along in decision making. He doesn’t disregard you, he is only acting to type. He can’t change overnight, so you must see him (perceive) in the correct light. 
Having the right perception is one of the keys to having healthier relationships. We will examine other relationships as we progress in this series. 
Happy Easter Monday! 
Adewumi Oni

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09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

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Twitter: onadol2010