Parenting (3)

Who is a father?

A father is a male parent, and no woman can play this role successfully. This is the natural order, a woman can never be a father because she is female and lacks the inbuilt skills and gifts of a father.

This is one of the challenges of single parenting, the absence of the missing parent always affects the complete transformation of the child to an adult.

The only One who can play both the fatherly and motherly role is God, because in Him exists both male and female. In Him, all fullness dwells. Colossians 1:19.

As a nurturer, the father cares and protects the child and mother from any form of harm. Joseph as a nurturer was the one God instructed to take the child Jesus away from the reach of Herod the King. As a father, you are responsible for caring and protecting for all those under your care. This applies to male leaders in any position, in business, in government or ecclesiastical, you are to protect those under your watch.

As a role model, the child looks up to the father as an example of how he should live. It is thus important that you set good example. Do not curse around your children, do not throw dirts or garbage from your car, they will emulate you. Whatever they see you doing, they will try on their own. So how you live your life has a lot of impact on the child. Many men who abuse their wives actually grew up with abusive fathers, same with women.

As a guide, the father provides guidance both spiritual and moral for the child. Children at infancy stage are like plain paper, their characters are formed by the words, acts of discipline, instructions and training provided by the parents, especially the father.

Fathers help their children in making right choices in life, and this is a key role. A father who never had the proper guidance may find it difficult to guide correctly, but thank God we have the Holy Books and other books to guide us in parenting.

We will continue on the subject of a father next week.

Have a great week ahead.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

Advertisements

Parenting (2)

“Parenting or child rearing is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the intricacies of raising a child and not exclusively to the biological relationship.” (Wikipedia).

It is the process of nurturing and training a child from infancy to adulthood. It is a deliberate act of planting virtues and moral values in a child with the aim that the child would grow to be a complete person.

This process is very important because lack of it can lead to character deficiency in the child involved. Whether as biological parents or foster parents, someone who has been well fathered must play the role of a father and someone who has been properly mothered must play the role of a mother.

So who is a father? A father is the male parent, a nurturer, a role model, a guide, an influencer, a shaper of character , an instiller of discipline, a judge, a protector, a provider, and a leader.

Who is a mother? A mother is the female parent, a carer, a homekeeper, a discerner, a moral support, a warmth provider and an emotional support.

Every child needs both the fatherly and motherly figures. The absence of either can significantly affect the complete formation of character for the child.

We will continue in this series by looking at each of the qualities of a father and mother next week.

Have a great week ahead.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

Power of Self Discipline – Conclusion

Leadership is responsibility. Leadership means taking responsibility for the successes and failures of the team. Accepting responsibility for failure requires a lot of discipline. It is very easy to push the blame to someone else down the line.

Self Discipline helps leaders to take right decisions, because they know the ultimate responsibility rests on their shoulders. Leaders without self discipline are not bothered whether their decisions or actions are right or wrong, knowing that if the result is not right, they can always find someone to hang the blame on.

This is why leaders in some parts of the world take their work so serious that after a mistake, they resign even before they are asked to do so.

Leaders who are disciplined also raise disciplined followers thereby strengthening their nations, states, organisations or communities. They lead by example and walk the talk. Their followers also two the same line and set in motion a chain of positive development.

This reflects in their management of resources whether corporate, communal or public. They demonstrate high sense of probity, integrity and accountability in management of resources and decision making.

You cannot be a good leader if you lack self discipline. Nemo dat quod non habet. You cannot give what you do not have.

It begins with you. So get your life in order before you raise others. A disciplined life leads to orderliness, progress and positive development. If you want to prove this, check what you achieve when you plan your spending and when you do not. You will find the difference between a disciplined life and a loose life.

Thanks for following through this series, but it will be more helpful if we practice what we have read.

Have a great week ahead.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

Power of Self Discipline – Importance

It is almost impossible to have a successful marriage without self discipline. Successful relationship thrives on self discipline.

In marriage, it takes discipline to keep playing one’s part regardless of convenience. It requires a lot of discipline to stay true to marital vow, when you are no longer in the mood under which you made the vow.

You will always meet someone better than your spouse, maybe prettier, richer or more intelligent. No matter who you marry, your loyalty will always be tested and there will always be reasons to let go of your spouse.

Marriage reveals the weaknesses in your spouse. You begin to see the real person behind the man or woman you married. You will sometimes question your decision in choosing your spouse, but self discipline will help you to overlook and stay committed at making your spouse a better person.

One of the main reasons for high rate of divorce today is lack of Self Discipline. Abusive husbands lack self discipline and cannot restrain themselves from assaulting their wives. A man who cannot exercise control over himself is like a city without fence, anyone and anything can enter.

Your mood or emotion should never control you, you must always learn to be in charge of your life. Tame your tongue, bridle your anger, put a leash on your body. The things that break homes are not big issues, they are usually small issues that accumulate over time. Learn to deal with every open wound before it becomes a big sore.

It is not everytime you say things as it comes to you, some things are only acceptable when presented nicely. It is called tact. Be disciplined enough to weigh and frame your words before utterance. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Proverbs 25:11 KJV.

Put your ego aside and apologise, and not only when you are at fault. Nothing thrives in a state of disharmony, so even if it means swallowing your pride to make peace, do so, the end will always justify you. Forgive and let go, not forgiving will harm you more.

Be a supportive wife. Do not shift all the burden on your husband when you can help. Be economically active as a wife, you must always have a source of income no matter how small. Invest in your home, do not spend all on unnecessary frivolities.

Resolve your issues between yourselves , as much as possible, avoid third party interference. Let God be your umpire and let His words be your guide.

Good morning and have a fruitful week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

Power of Self Discipline – Importance

It takes discipline to retain wealth. Some things are easy to get and hard to lose, e.g sexually transmitted diseases. Some things are also hard to get and easy to lose e.g riches, fame and integrity. If you are not well disciplined you will lose money within minutes and one mistake can damage your integrity for a lifetime.

Good Financial management requires a lot of discipline. You must not be given to impulse spending. You cannot be rich if you keep competing with everyone. All ‘wannabes’ hardly become anything. Do not live your life to be like the Joneses, you will end up being poor.

When you spend you miss an opportunity to grow your money. When you save or invest, you create opportunity to make more money.

Rules of Spending

1. Have a budget, whether weekly or monthly and follow your budget.

2. Never spend all your income

3. Spend on others, it always come back to you.

4. Do not spend in advance of income, it blocks your ability to take opportunities.

5. Keep to planned spendings, do not be impulsive.

Rules of Savings

1. Save for precautionary motive (for the rainy day).

2. Save for speculative motive (investments, mutual funds, treasury bills, fixed deposits, etc

3. Keep your money away from ‘Get Rich Quick Schemes ‘. There is no easy way to get rich, it requires time and hardwork.

4. Do not use all your savings to finance investment opportunities if you can borrow.

Rules for Borrowing

1. Only borrow to finance asset acquisition or income yielding opportunities.

2. Ensure your income is at east three times the amount needed to service your debt obligations.

3. Ensure you have Savings at least twice as much as your borrowing.

4. Borrowing to finance consumption is a sign of poor planning and will only keep you further indebted.

No matter how small your income is, have a plan for it. Increase your income earning capacity by improving yourself through reading, attending trainings and seminars, following mentors and consistently raising your bars.

Stay financially disciplined and have a great week.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @DewumiOni

Power of Self Discipline – Importance

Self Discipline helps to maintain a spiritual schedule. It helps to have a regular time for meditation, praying or fasting. It is unarguable that the spiritual determines the reality we face on daily basis. A disciplined person who takes charge of his spiritual will no doubt be in charge in reality.

It is a pity that a lot of people toy with their spiritual life and leave things to chance. Success hardly happens by chance, it is a product of discipline, preparation and opportunity. If you are not disciplined, you will be sleeping when you are supposed to be awake in prayer. If you are not disciplined, you will be feasting when you are supposed to be fasting.

Infact, people who lack spiritual discipline are easy preys for their enemies. Samson’s lack of discipline made him an easy prey on the laps of Delilah. There is also the story of how one of the late military rulers in Nigeria became an easy prey in the hands of women of easy virtues.

You cannot afford to be careless with your spiritual life. It is the foundation for everything in your life. Many have embarked on journeys that took their lives because they lacked discipline. You do not have to attend every function. You do not have to honour every invitation. You cannot be everything to everybody, you will die prematurely trying to do so.

“He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.” Proverbs 25:28 KJV

Be disciplined with your utterance. Do not kill yourself with your declarations. Death and Life lies in the tongue. Declare Peace to your days. Speak life into your days. Do not allow reality determine your utterance, let your utterance determine your reality!

Have a great week ahead. Peace!

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @onadol2010

Power of Self Discipline – Importance

A life that is run without checks and balances is akin to a vehicle without brake system, sooner or later, there will be collision. You cannot live successfully without self discipline.

“The Price of Discipline is always less than the pain of regret.” – Nido Qubein.

Self-discipline helps in every area of life. In lifestyle, eating habit, academics, spiritual development, financial management, marital success, leadership, and national development, to mention a few.

Some of the health challenges we face are results of a poorly disciplined life. You cannot spend all day sitting down watching TV or working and expect a perfectly functioning body. Free circulation of blood in your body will be impeded and this can bring about ailments like high blood pressure and heart related disease. You must train yourself to have regular exercise.

Unhealthy eating habit can damage your health and physique. Uncontrollable appetite could be a sign of lack of self discipline. You should not allow your body to dictate to you all the time. You have been given a mind to control the desires of the body. Choose what to eat and stop eating everything you choose! Set time limits for when to eat to avoid overworking you body metabolism.

Outstanding students are usually deliberate students. They deliberately commit themselves to hours of reading and studying. They constantly deny themselves of pleasures and focus on the prize of being the best. Pleasure and Prize hardly go together. You must choose one. If you want to have all the pleasure, you can not aim to win the prize at the same time. This does not mean you should not have relaxation time. The key thing is to have a disciplined schedule of studying and relaxing!

The more you are willing to defer gratification and pleasure, the more disciplined you become, and the easier it gets to achieve your goals. The reason for several aborted ‘New Year Resolutions’ is the lack of discipline to follow through. Self discipline helps you to follow through your goals and plans. Stick to plan!

God did not make mistake by setting order for day and night, the aim is to have orderliness. A disciplined life is an orderly life. Check your life!

Barka De Sallah to all our Muslim brethren. Have a beautiful Sallah celebration.

Adewumi Oni

08028395824

09095321147

wumioni@yahoo.com

Instagram: onadol

Twitter: @onadol2010

http://www.adewumioni.com